Spaces in Togetherness

Spaces in Togetherness

Must one do everything together, if one is married or in a committed relationship? I would think not. After all one was an individual with specific likes and dislikes before the union.

But a lot of couples forget that, and think that a relationship flowers and sustains best if all activities are done together. Creating spaces in togetherness is an important aspect of life.

Flying solo

While there is no doubt that it is important to share few interests (or at least one) with your partner just so that you can spend some fun times together. But trouble in paradise starts when one is unable to indulge in a favored activity, because the partner does not want to (or is not able to fork out the time to) accompany the spouse in the leisure activity.

For example, one may want to attend poetry-reading sessions or watch a play, if you cannot convince your partner (who may not enjoy any of the mentioned activities), go alone or with a like-minded friend.

The advantages of doing so are twofold

  • You feel happy and content by indulging in something that you obviously like and enjoy. This joy is sure to translate back in your general well-being and sense of happiness
  • By accepting your partner’s personal likes and dislikes, you accord him or her respect and space and most importantly do not make him or her suffer through something.

In our busy lives today we are all strapped for time and hardly get time to indulge in our hobbies. Hence, it makes sense to do a few things alone and not mope or wait around.

Living apart,yet together

Committed-relationship dynamics are evolving with time. Is it not a common feature now to see numerous couples, who are living-apart-together?

To a traditionalist this might seem incomprehensible, the concept of living apart together. If you look around you will notice that a lot of couples (which includes numerous high profile couples), have such successful unions.

Not always alone

But remember, don’t end up doing everything alone. If that happens, then obviously the “committed relationship” needs some re-working and soul searching.

After all, if there is no common platform wherein a couple can spend time together, then it can lead to a sense of isolation and being lonely in the relationship.

Try to introduce the partner to something new, but if you see that the partner is not enjoying the new experience, then do it alone.

There is just one life. Why not live it to the fullest?

Khalil Gibran, the Lebanese-American artist, poet, and writer sums it up best with these following lines:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music…

About the Author

Nishi Roy is business writer by profession. What she loves most is being able to delve a little deeper into situations and people and share her understanding through her writing voice

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