Marriage after Baby – Rekindle the Spark

Marriage after Baby

Has your little bundle of joy sidelined your marital relationship? Do you long for those drives in the rain and the togetherness the two of you shared before your child came into the picture? Discover how to rekindle the spark in your marriage after baby.

The Foundation of a Happy Family is a Happy Marriage

The best gift that you can give your children is for them to know and be visibly aware that both their parents love and respect each other. Children become the center of almost every parent’s life soon after they are born. Parents even tend to neglect each other and their own emotional and physical needs as their focus shifts exclusively to the child. More often than not, this creates subliminal stress in marital relationships.

While childbirth and child rearing is the central function of human families, at the core of the family unit is the primary relationship of love, caring and sharing between the two spouses. Marriage after baby is stressful due to the demands of parenting. It is bound to put pressure on the entire edifice of the family unit which will also have an impact on the children.

Spend Exclusive Quality Time Together

Seek babysitting help from a friend or a relative and spend exclusive time together by going out for a dinner, party or movie. The message both the partners send to each other when they do this is what makes all the difference to the quality of their relationship.

They learn that their togetherness and relationship is considered important by the other person who still makes an effort to spend exclusive time together.

Radhika and Rakesh were an ideal couple in many ways. College sweethearts from their twenties, they had a long and happy courtship before tying the knot. They accepted the initial years of toil in the office as the price to be paid for financial security and did not allow it to come in the way of their relationship by spending quality time together during the weekends.

But all these things changed soon after Radhika delivered their baby girl. A devoted mother, she started to focus exclusively on her little angel. After a few months of maternity leave, she rejoined work and that left her with very little time to focus on anything else besides her baby, housework and the office. Though he didn’t say it, Rakesh started feeling almost like an interloper in his house.

The couple forgot the basic lessons in relationship communication that they had naturally followed in their younger years when they spent hours looking into each other’s eyes and giggling over cups of coffee!

Fortunately before things could get out of hand, Radhika’s mother sensed the subliminal strain in her daughter’s marriage with her years of wisdom and experience and had a heart-to-heart conversation with her daughter about the importance of balancing all the aspects of her life.

The young couple started to budget exclusive time with each other by leaving their child in the expert love and care of her grandparents. That was all that it took to rekindle the spark of love and romance that had never really died out but was merely less visible under the twin strains of bringing up a little child and a demanding corporate job.

Avoid Being Demanding

The very rhythm of your lives together—as also the physical rhythms of the mother—will undergo a serious change after you become parents. It is important to anticipate these changes in each other lest you make too many unreasonable demands on yourself or your partner.

Whatever your concept of the ‘ideal mother’ or ‘ideal father’ may be, do not try to impose your expectations on your partner who will feel pressured and resentful fulfilling your demands. Let your spouse be the kind of parent he or she deems fit.

Conclusion – Marriage after baby

While the human species and indeed every species on the planet is genetically and evolutionarily programmed to lend their primary focus to the well-being of their children, it is important that you do not lose touch with your spouse at an emotional level.

Keep the health of the marriage in perfect condition by spending quality time together and communicating regularly with each other. Your children too will benefit from the happy and stress-free environment in which they grow up and you will stay in love with the person you had married forever and ever.

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About the Author

Supradeep Mukherjee is an author, trainer and broadcaster. Educated at Hindu College and the Delhi School of Economics, he has consulted with a number of corporate organisations, radio stations and academic institutions. His areas of interest include Personal Development, Parenting, Relationships and Lessons in Living from Mythology.

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