How To Stop Thinking About Someone
Being stuck in a cycle of loving another person is never easy. Thinking about someone constantly can become unhealthy, psychologically confusing, and honestly, simply irritating. Believe it or not, there are answers to how to stop thinking about someone (though it takes plenty of mindfulness).
How to stop thinking about someone and move on:
Love life is tough! You are sometimes faced with a difficult situation when your love is not reciprocated. But you just can’t stop thinking about that person … you just can’t move on. Here are some simple tips to help you let go:
1. Let time pass
It may seem obvious, but the best answer to how to stop thinking about someone is by simply letting time pass. They say that time heals all wounds and whether or not you agree with this, you certainly will not be thinking about this one person for the rest of your life.
Sure, from time to time, he or she may cross your mind, but after some time passes, they will not constantly be on your mind any longer. Breathe deep. Be patient with yourself. And take solace in knowing that time will be on your side eventually.
2. Don’t dwell
It is easier said than done, but dwelling on anything at any point is not healthy. If you can help it, not dwelling is probably the best first step towards how to stop thinking about someone. If you allow yourself to overanalyze the situation too much or too often, you are only hurting yourself in the long run. If you can stop dwelling, you will be doing yourself a huge favor.
3. Tackle the issue
Though we have already covered letting time pass and trying not to dwell, it is important that you let yourself tackle the issue at hand on occasion. Without letting yourself become obsessed with whatever happened, or whoever you are thinking about, it is important for you to talk through what has gone on.
Are you going through a breakup and you can’t stop thinking about your ex? Make sure you spend some time going over:
- why you broke up,
- why it is a positive change in your life, and
- what you need to do to get past it.
If you completely ignore the issue, you may end up dwelling for much longer. That person will always be a part of your life, so it might be a good idea to tackle the issue before you try to get past it.
4. Focus on personal growth
When you are ready, your mind needs to focus on something—anything—other than that person who has taken over your mind. The best thing you can focus on is your own personal growth. What do you need to get over this person or this situation? What do you need to be successful in your own personal growth? Whether you are a physical person (and will find comfort and growth in exercise), or you are a mindful person (and will find it in journaling or a good book) pick what is right for you and let yourself grow.
5. Forgive them instead
When you are ready, forgiveness will be your best friend. It is hard to stop thinking about a person if you are still mad or upset with them. Even if you never apologize to them, let yourself forgive them. You will find it a lot easier to move on and stop thinking about them if you release them from your mind and let go of any bitterness.
6. Focus elsewhere
Join a running group, start a book club, find a solid online community, walk a dog, hang out with your family—there are plenty of other things you can do when trying to get someone off of your mind. Some people have an easier time focusing on exciting activities (running, skydiving, whitewater rafting) and some people find it easier to relax (yoga, journals, books). Whatever you prefer, focus your mind on it and you will find it easier to stop thinking about that person.
7. Don’t deprive yourself
A few months or years down the road, if you catch yourself thinking about that person again, do not deprive yourself. Instead of suppressing your thoughts of that person you loved (or didn’t love), allow yourself to think of them—and then allow yourself to move on again.
As mentioned, journaling is a great way to get thoughts out of your head and into a physical form. Though not everyone finds comfort in writing, journaling can be beneficial for most of us. Do not worry about how your writing sounds, or proper spelling or punctuation—simply focus on getting your thoughts out of your head and onto the page. All will be well eventually.
9. Be busy
If you are busy at work, at school, with your social life, with your kids, or with your pets, you will find it easier to get this person off your mind. The busier you are, the less time you will have to think about them. Would you like to move on? Up your activities.
Meditation is all about clearing your mind, letting yourself relax, and letting yourself feel free. If you cannot stop thinking about a specific person, work on your personal meditation. It is hard for everyone at first, but once you have it down, you will be able to clear your mind and be fully in control of your thoughts—at least in a certain space, at a certain time.
Not thinking about a person is hard, especially the more you think about how often you are thinking about them. With time, strength, motivation, and a slew of other activities by your side, you are sure to stop thinking about that person soon enough. Move on and allow your mind to be free.