How To Make Friends And Keep Them

how to make friends

Knowing how to make friends can be hard, especially as you get older. Once you leave school, it is not as easy to come by social interaction as it used to be. Not to mention that if you work for a smaller company, or alone, it can be hard as an adult to form everlasting friendships. There are ways to get around it, however.

Not sure how to make friends? Here are a few tips:

Many people don’t know how to make friends. Surprisingly, the first step in making friends, is more about becoming the best friend you can be, to someone else, first. From there we can move on to finding yourself some new buddies.

1. Offer your assistance

Helping your friends move, helping them pack, helping them fix their car, driving them to the airport… these are all great ways to remind your friends that you love and care for them. Helping people out is a normal part of humanity, and expressing your interest in caring for others is a fantastic way to remind your friends that you are there for them, no matter how big the task.

2. Do new things

It is incredibly easy to fall into the familiar trap of a routine schedule. You wake up, go to work, maybe go to the grocery store or the gym, and head home for the night. There is nothing wrong with living such a structured life, however if you are looking to make new friends, you may need to jazz up your routine a little bit.

How about that Wednesday night writing group you have been thinking about? How about the Saturday morning running club? Explore community events in your area and pick a weekly group to join. As you work the new activity into your schedule, you will start to get to know new people (the ones who also attend each week). Half of the work will already be done because you’ll know you have at least one thing in common with everyone else there.

3. Carpool

Though it seems like a silly suggestion, carpooling is actually a great way to get to know the people you may feel like you already know. Yes, you see your coworkers all of the time, but how often do you really talk to people one-on-one? While at work, there is not a ton of time to lounge around getting to know one another. Not only does carpooling help lower your eco-footprint and save the Earth, but it is a great way to get to know someone (or a few people). Carpool to save money and gas while also increasing your social life!

4. Talk to individuals

Another suggestion that may seem obvious, however it is easy to forget how to connect to someone on an individual level. Even if you have joined a community group and are enjoying it, connecting to each individual (or the ones you are interested in having a friendship with) is vital. Friend groups are great and offer a lot of happiness to one’s life, but being able to spend time with just one person offers an even greater perspective on life.

5. Use your phone and social networking sites

Once you are becoming friends with someone, or even if you have been friends with them for quite some time, it is important to keep in touch with said person (or people). There is nothing wrong with sending an aimless text message asking someone how their day was—in fact, it is a very kind gesture!

Liking someone’s pictures on Facebook or Instagram, or favoriting their tweet may seem like a tiny thing that might not make a difference to anyone’s life, but it can boost your friendship and make you closer.

6. Be open

If you consider yourself a closed off or private person, it can be hard to come out of your shell with someone new, or even with someone you have known for quite some time. To truly build a lasting friendship, it is vital that you let that person or people into your life. It is not necessary to share every detail of your life, or your feelings with every single friendship, but it is nice to be able to open up to someone and let them in. You might just learn something while you solidify your friendship.

7. Be positive

It may take awhile to make friends, especially the kind of friendship that you are currently looking for—one to last you a lifetime. Try to remain positive, no matter how long it takes to feel that incredible connection you feel only with a true friend. As you are making friends, remain happy and clear-minded, assuring yourself that you will eventually get to the point you hope to be. People flock to positivity. Smile big.

8. Be yourself

The real secret to how to make friends? Be yourself. Being yourself is a huge part of maintaining any friendship or relationship. If you hold back and do not let your true colors show, how will you ever form a real friendship? Be yourself, stick to your true feelings and morals, and let people love you for your true self. When you are yourself, you are the happiest, best person you can be. People will gravitate toward you for that reason alone.

9. Be proactive 

It is easy to let someone else plan everything. Laying back and going with the flow can be relaxing and simple, however there is something to be said for people who take matters into their own hands. Making plans proves that you care and are interested in furthering the friendship.

Invite someone out to dinner one-on-one, or host a barbecue at your house to get to know the people you feel like you want to be friends with. Planning things out shows that you care, that you are courteous, and that you are invested in the future of your friendship.

10. Schedule your plans

Life gets busy; that is undeniable. Even if you have to pencil in your social events, it is better than over-scheduling and having to cancel on someone. Nobody appreciates being cancelled on, so try your hardest to avoid being that person. Schedule your social events just as you schedule your time at the gym, or any other task in your day. You will be more successful in your friendships if you take them as seriously as you take anything else in your life.

Wrap up

If you are not sure on how to make friends, don’t worry. Just be true. Be yourself. Be kind. But more than anything, just be. Life is an amazing journey and when you let that light shine through, you’ll attract more people to you than ever before. Live an amazing life, no matter what you do, and you’ll be surprised at how many people flock to your side.

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About the Author

Jessica Tholmer has a degree in English Literature. Jessica is a full-time writer for a small company, but she writes for multiple other forums. Jessica writes about love, life, and everything in between for HelloGiggles, though her work has been featured on Nerve, The Gaggle, The Conversation, and The Siren as well.

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