How To Break Up With Someone

how to break up with someone

Do you really know how to break up with someone? Yes, breaking up is hard to do, but you can ease the difficulty by making it as seamless as you can. Feelings will inevitably get hurt, tears will likely be involved, and it is hard to avoid that “angry stage”.

How to break up with someone—The list:

Breaking it off with someone whom you have loved dearly is difficult. However, if you are feeling like it is time to get out of your relationship, following these steps will make everything better in the long run.

1. Stick to your guns

It is an extremely hard decision to come to, deciding to break up with someone you once loved (or may still love). It is easy to convince yourself that you are overreacting, or that things will get better, or that you are being too rash. It is absolutely necessary to make sure you are entirely positive about the breakup—however, once you are, you must stick to your decision.

Flip-flopping back and forth does nothing but hurt the both of you in the long run. Once you know you are done, be done. Don’t get convinced otherwise. It is unfair to both sides of the relationship.

2. Be private

When you are breaking up with someone, it is important to think about how they are feeling, and what they are experiencing. If your partner is not expecting you to break up with them, it is vital that you respect their privacy. Make sure you keep your voice down, you are sensitive, and that you are preferably not in a public place

3. Talk in a comfortable environment

Speaking of not being in a public place, it is courteous to break up with your partner in a comfortable environment. If you two live together, have that conversation at your home. If you two go to school together, take a walk in the park after class.

Avoid bars and alcohol when you are having a conversation about ending your relationship. Try not to do it over dinner, or when anyone else is in the room with you two. Be considerate of how this will make your partner feel.

4. Let the other person speak as well

Though it may have ultimately been your decision to end your relationship, it is still important to give your partner a chance to speak. Since you are sure you want to break up, it may be tempting to not allow them to convince you otherwise, but that is not always the case.

Your partner should have the chance to tell you how they feel, regardless of if it is surprise, shame, disappointment, anger, hurt, or all of the above. Though this is your decision, and that is okay, there were still two people in your relationship.

5. Do not blame anyone

It is natural for you two to start arguing during the breakup. It is completely human nature to become defensive in order to protect yourself. The Blame Game is absolutely never a fun one to participate in, however. Even if your partner begins to point fingers, attempt to be the bigger person and not reciprocate. Everyone makes mistakes in relationships—try to let any blame in your heart dissipate.

6. Be firm

During your actual conversation, your partner may try to convince you to stay together, or try it for a bit longer, or just take a break for awhile. If you are sure about this breakup, do not agree to any of those terms. If you know that you are ready to break up, there is no need to draw it out any longer. Taking a break instead of breaking up, or giving each other space for a random period of time is not going to help either of you move on like you need to.

7. Prepare to feel hurt

Though you are the one who initiated this conversation, it does not mean your feelings may come out unscathed. People say hurtful things when they feel attacked, especially to the people they are most vulnerable with. If your partner tries to hurt your feelings, remember that they are acting in a very human way. Try to let it go and not take it too personally.

8. Be fully honest

If you are breaking up with your partner because you met someone else, the best thing to do is tell the truth. If you are breaking up with your partner because you need to be alone for awhile, be honest about it. If you are breaking up with your partner for any other reason, express yourself completely and honestly. You will not do anyone any favors by holding back the truth from them. Honesty is always the best policy

9. Don’t fight

One of the most-important rules in how to break up with someone the correct way, is to keep a cool head. If things get heated and neither of you can have a civilized conversation, it is best to walk away. Fighting is not going to get either of you anywhere. If you have to leave the conversation and revisit it once everyone has calmed down, things will end up going much more smoothly in the end.

10. Take an internet break

Once you the breakup is official, it may be a good idea to take a break from your Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. It is hard to readjust to your life without your partner, and it is far too tempting to look at all of their social networking pages. Staying off of social media for awhile after a breakup is one of the best things you can do for yourself and each other. Your business is your business, and the internet does not need to know all about it.


If you are wondering how to break up with someone you are very affectionate about—stop worrying! Ending a relationship doesn’t have to destroy either one of you. For whatever reason, things simply did not work out. It’s not the end of the world, but you can certainly make it easier on them if you just follow these few steps.

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About the Author

Jessica Tholmer has a degree in English Literature. Jessica is a full-time writer for a small company, but she writes for multiple other forums. Jessica writes about love, life, and everything in between for HelloGiggles, though her work has been featured on Nerve, The Gaggle, The Conversation, and The Siren as well.

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