How to Discipline a Child without Spanking

discipline a child

A generation ago the adage “spare the rod and spoil the child” was popular. Today, bringing up a child is different and hitting a child is considered abuse. Bringing up children today is a challenge for parents, family members, as well as teachers. The debate about discipline and punishment is ongoing with child-development specialists and professionals constantly evolving new aspects and theories.

As parents it is more about finding your own level and understanding your child than it is about applying theories and advice found online and offline. Decide on what would be a comfortable parenting style. While discipline is essential for every child, punishments like spanking are a definite “no.”

So how do you discipline a child without hitting or spanking?

Know your child

Even within one family, no two children are the same. Every child is unique and has a different temperament as well as developmental pace. Study your child and gauge how much they understand what you say . Ensure that the child feels loved, wanted and secure.

Steel Yourself

As a parent you need to establish self-control. If you feel sorry for the child and let love rule then you will fail at discipline. Children learn very quickly how to manipulate others with tears and smiles.

My two-month-old grandson has learned that if he closes his eyes and squeals his mother will come running and pick him up.

The trick is to distract the “closed eyes & squeal” attempt using a rattle or song. When a child learns that being stubborn or throwing a tantrum works he/she will be sure to repeatedly use it to get what they want. So as a parent you need to set emotions aside for the greater good.

Methods to discipline a child

There are several ways to discipline a child. You need to adopt a technique that is most suitable to you. Well-known and popular methods are time-out, natural consequences, withholding privileges, and distraction. Whatever method you choose remember to always reinforce good behavior and pay positive attention to a child when things are perfect.

1. Time out

Time out has been used successfully by many parents, those who are “Dennis the Menace” fans will remember Dennis sitting in a corner—all one needs to do is choose a “time-out spot;” one where there are no distractions at all.

When the child breaks a toy, throws things, or screams the child must be sent/seated in the “time-out” corner until the child calms down. Soon the child will learn that bad behavior will lead to sitting in the “time-out” corner.

2. Natural consequences

Another method in use by parents for centuries is natural consequences—if a child throws a toy, it will be locked up and the child will not be able to play with it anymore.

3. Withholding privileges

Similarly, withholding privileges is a method that works with older children. Many parents take away a pleasure like watching television, playing video games, or a sport for a period of time when a child has misbehaved.

This ensures that the child knows that behavior has consequences—good behavior is rewarded while bad behavior means the loss of something.

4. Distraction

Distraction works best with babies and toddlers. When my grandson tries to cry loudly when not lifted up its easy to distract him using a rattle. The sound distracts him and he forgets to cry. It’s quite funny to see the two-month-old trying to dominate.

Few additional tips to discipline a child

Learn what punishment is and what discipline is—the two are quite different. Once you choose a method try to be consistent. Don’t let the child learn that it can get the better of you. A child will always test your limits and it is important for you to discourage misbehavior.

Set limits early and let the child know what the consequences will be—if the child breaks or throws a toy you must take the toy away so that the child learns quickly that throwing toys is not an option.

Always stay calm and speak in a firm and kind tone. Never yell or scream. Try not to lose control. Show the child that you love and care for them and use positive tones.

Sensible Parenting Makes Great Children

Studies have proven time and again that spanking a child is not an option to discipline a child, however difficult the child. Punishment leads to negative behaviors and teaches children violence.

Modern science has been able to guide parents so that children grow up secure, safe and well-behaved. Teaching a child right and wrong ensures that a child grows up to be a caring and well-behaved citizen.

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About the Author

Ahendita is an experienced writer and editor with over 30 years work experience. She has authored books, magazine articles, web content, e-books, and promotional materials.

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