Before You Say Yes to a Marriage Proposal

Marriage Proposal

Feeling anxious before you say ‘Yes’ to a marriage proposal? Think twice before you say yes to a marriage proposal because, it is important that you first check compatibility.

By doing so, the marriage will stand the best possible chance of success. Given the rising rates of divorce and marital discord, it is a good idea to be as careful as possible in respect to this important aspect of life.

In modern Indian society, both arranged marriages and love marriages are gaining currency among the youth. In the earlier days, it was largely arranged marriages with love marriages being few and far between.

Why Be Careful?

In India, the rate of divorce is still quite low when compared to the statistics prevailing in the west, although it is on the upswing. This also means that if people do not have to spend their lives in misery, it is important to think twice that they check their compatibility for marriage before taking the plunge.

This will bring the rates of divorces and separation down, will help people live happier marital lives and the ongoing effort to keep working on marital relationships will also become a less arduous task.

What to Check?

  • The first important point of convergence or agreement should be whether the two potential partners agree on the basic values they live by. If there is a major disagreement on basic values, the relationship will be mired in difficulties.
  • The second important point of discussion should be about how the two relate to other people—to immediate family, relatives, in-laws, friends and to society in general. If there are major differences in the way the two potential partners relate to the people in their lives, these could again become future sources of tension in the relationship.
  • The third important area of discussion, before the couple mutually decide whether their relationship should culminate in marriage, is about the role of finances and money in their future lives together. Some people are by nature spendthrift, some are miserly, some are balanced in their approach to money and finances, while there are some who are focused on long term generation of wealth by investing money.
  • The fourth and often neglected topic the couple should discuss beforehand is how they will approach their professional careers once the children arrive. Many women prefer to be full-time stay at home mothers but they are pressured by their husbands to continue with full-time employment. This often puts a strain on the relationship and it is wiser to discuss this issue before one gets married because children, child-rearing and professional careers are all very important components of married life.

While the detailed contours of their lives together will emerge over the years and decades together, it is important that there be a basic convergence of views on at least most of the areas outlined above to have a happier and longer lasting marriage.

A Case in Point

Rashmi and Manish had a long period of courtship watching movies together and reveling in each other’s company. They really did not see the point of talking about the important components of their future lives together like their values, their attitude towards families and society and finances.

After the initial euphoria of their marriage dissipated and life settled into the humdrum of day-to-day existence, it was clear that for all practical purposes, they could have been inhabitants of different—and antagonistic—planets. They constantly quarreled on almost all issues related to these different aspects of practical life.

In these years, although they were blessed with two lovely children, the marriage could not take the constant tension of such fundamental disagreement and despite their best efforts, they only kept drifting further and further away from each other.

Conclusion -Think Twice Before You Say Yes to a Marriage Proposal

While love, acceptance and mutual respect are the bedrock of a happy marriage, it is best for both prospective partners to have free, frank and open discussions on aspects of their joint lives together before committing to marriage.

By doing so, the marriage will stand the best possible chance of success which will have a significant impact on their levels of happiness and satisfaction in life.

Avatar photo

About the Author

Richa is a writer and a life skills coach with seven years of work experience in training corporate professionals. She has trained employees in Soft skills, Sales and Business English.

Leave a Reply