How to be an effective single parent

One can be as good as two—while being a single parent presents challenges in today’s world several people are choosing to be single parents and bringing up their kids effectively.

There is no set rule that every child must have two parents. I am a grand mom now and have brought up two children single-handedly although I have been married for thirty-two years. My husband just did not shoulder any parenting responsibility.

He went to work (so did I) and sometimes he brought goodies for the kids. I took care of school admissions, doctor’s visits, holidays and more. So, one could be a single parent even though married, due to a divorce/separation, or deliberate choice.

Plan your parenting

Learn all you can about “single parenting,” but follow your instincts/heart. Let love rule—this does not mean the kids/kid grow up unruly and wild. Choose to inculcate discipline and establish workable schedules and a support system.

Love and be loved but teach the kid/kids right and wrong and that being bullies or messy will not be okay. Achieve a balance between strict and easy.

Relocate

Plan carefully on how to maximize time spent with kids. Try and find a home close to work or if you have a long commute to the city, find a place near your parents or a good day care center. Cutting down commutes will save you time and energy and being close to someone you can depend on will relieve stress too.

Plan your Money

As a single parent you will need to plan your finances very carefully as you have only one income. Make a budget with allocations for schooling, care, health including dentistry, emergencies that are unforeseen, school trips and vacations.

Teach children the value of money and encourage them to put small amounts aside from pocket money and gifts. Make sensible investments and explore ways in which to save precious pennies. A teacher at my kid’s school would only buy online from discount stores and auctions and at supermarkets look for great bargains.

There are many ways in which you can stretch a dollar.

Communicate

From day one let the kids understand why you are a single parent and that they are not unfortunate at all. Teach them that there are many families that have only one parent. Introduce them to other kids with single parents so that they realize that it’s more than okay.

Spend time everyday at dinner listening to children so that they become accustomed to sharing things with you.

They should grow up knowing you are there for them and that they can talk about anything—sex, drugs, gangs, love and more. In case there is another parent in the background let them know that the person is not a villain or bad—inculcate in them a respect for the other parent too.

Focus on yourself

Don’t let yourself become “just a parent.” Take care of your needs too. Go out often, date, indulge in a hobby. Always keep a tab on your diet and exercise needs.

And once in a while leave the kids with a babysitter or your parents/family and take a breather from the chaos of daily life—put up your feet, take a walk, listen to music, chat with a friend. Parenting is about nurturing and comes easy for most people.