How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

People Pleaser

We all love to be loved . . . there is a sense of being wanted, which makes us love life more. Pleasing others is a natural thing and we all have it in us . . . nothing wrong in that, but how far we go out to reach others and to please them is a question that will set you thinking.

Yes, many times we do not want to hurt others and get into something that we do not like and hurt ourselves in the course. A people pleaser yearns for outside validation. You will never be able to please everybody. Embrace the real you, accept it, own it, love it and you will be a lot happier.

Well, how good is this? I would say maybe sometimes you do have to give in and make people happy around you, because we do live in a society and need people around us and want their help too. But, not by stooping low or losing your self esteem.

Don’t lose yourself while being a people pleaser

Are you someone who has lost his/her own identity in the process of pleasing others? If so, stop right now. This is not healthy. You are heading nowhere and the consequences you will face will also have you losing your balance when you think, act and behave. I am not saying that you have to say no to everything and everyone and stay in a cocoon.

No! This too is wrong, what I am saying is that you do not have to give yourself up and constantly think of how others will perceive you.

Although everyone and every friend matters, it is you who is the main character here and if you’d love to help someone or please someone then you can go ahead, but if you simply want to please every person you meet, then there is bound to be a problem ahead.

Why do people please others?

Somewhere down the lane maybe they have gone through a lot of emotional situations or maybe they do not have friends or are trying to help themselves as they have hurt someone long back and are now repenting or apologetic. Many times it is the negative thoughts or memories that one has and is stored in their minds that cannot be removed easily.

It is a course of action they take because they fell victim to something in their lives. Maybe they experienced rejection by their parents, teachers, friends, or neighbors.

If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself ~ Jocelyn Murray (Tweet this)

How do you get out of it?

First of all try loving yourself. Self love will help to combat outward negative feelings. If you are low on self esteem, work on it and try to regain the confidence you lost. If you get angry at others show it and they will know where to back-off. The whole process begins when you take a look at how far you go at pleasing others.

In trying to please all, he had pleased none ~ Aesop (Tweet this)

Pleasing others does not mean that you have to say yes to each and everything people want out of you. You can say no.. Ultimately it is you who has to feel good about doing anything for anyone. Remember, social work and help does not equate to pleasing people.

Never confuse the two. Here you are helping those who are unfortunate, while on the other hand you may be pleasing people even when they can help themselves.

Stop worrying about pleasing others so much, do more of what makes you happy. Life is not about pleasing others. Please yourself and believe in you.


About the Author

Vandana Singhal writes extensively on science, technology, health, and travel. Vandana has a degree in science and is artistic in nature.

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