How to Stay Positive Around Negative People
How does one stay positive around negative people? It is not an easy task. Be the positivity you want to see in the world. No one can make you unhappy without your permission. We all have dreams and goals; they are the means to an enjoyable life beyond basic survival.
Instead of a life of consistency, however, many of us experience life as rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. What we don’t talk about is how our relationships mirror both of these bright and dark places within ourselves.
It’s true that nothing great is ever accomplished alone. Though we are each individuals, we work symbiotically to make society, the world, and the cosmos go round. Therefore, learning to wisely choose who we surround ourselves with and how to handle being around those who expose our shadows is fundamental for our survival and well-being.
There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. That little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative. ~ Robert Collier (Tweet this)
Social Personality Vs. Antisocial Personality
Ignorance is not bliss, awareness is. If we want to really experience life at its truest bliss, we must educate ourselves by expanding our awareness. We can do this by taking a closer look at our own selves, asking questions such as “why we do what we do?” Before we consider why we choose to surround ourselves with certain people, let’s consider the two different types of personalities we find ourselves interacting with.
We all have an understanding of what is harmful and what is helpful. When it comes to society there are two basic personality types, the social and antisocial personality. A negative or toxic person is a classic antisocial personality. These are the “emotional vampires.” It is as if they are actively trying to squash our hopes and dreams, because they are. Recognizing these types of personalities in our lives can be very enlightening, not only to help ourselves but to help others.
Here are a few distinct characteristics of antisocial personalities:
- Generally Unhappy
- Speak Mainly In “Bad News”
- Views Others And The World As Unsafe
- Poor Communication
- Bad Moral Character
- Don’t Trust People
Knowing When It’s Time to Let Go
It’s important to understand that not every person’s intentions are as supportive as they could be. People become suppressive and antisocial. When they do, it is their unconscious purpose to bring others down with them. As the saying goes “misery loves company.”
When people get in “bad shape” they have become disconnected with this willingness to love themselves. When faced with setbacks in life, they forget to stay positive. In order to get love or attention, they drag down others to their lower frequencies and emotion.
There are some relationships that just aren’t fixable—this can include family, friends and those people we mistakenly wish to “save.” There are situations that you can suffer for only so long before you realize that the suffering is a choice.
There may come a crucial time when you make a new choice. You must learn that the best way to help negative people is by honoring yourself, and removing yourself from the toxicity. By doing so, you give others the permission to honor themselves too.
Signs You Could Use A Change
Letting go isn’t easy for us; we have a habit of living through habitual thought patterns that love to cling to comfort. We often stay in toxic situations because it’s more comfortable to stay in certainty of a toxic situation than it is to take the risk of experiencing joy.
Here are a few signs that it may be time to set the example
- Your health and mental well-being is suffering
- You are emotionally, physically and/or spiritually drained
- Your other relationships are being negatively affected
- There is violence or physical/emotional abuse
- Substance abuse [drugs, alcohol, and/or food]
- There are consistent battles of egos
- There is distrust, disrespect and dishonesty
Handling Negative People
So far we have learned to actually discriminate properly between an actual toxic person and non-toxic person. By better understanding why people behave the way they do we can more accurately handle a situation; sometimes that means simply leaving a situation. However, not all relationships have to be cut off, the opportunity for healing is always available.
Depending on your level of self-awareness and development you may have to limit or avoid certain people entirely. However, as you grow in self-awareness you will become more resistant to any negative forces. Spiritual enlightenment is the ultimate self-defense; your ability to respond to stress becomes invincible. There are ways to deepen our spiritual muscles.
As I mentioned earlier, relationships are mirrors to us. When we are willing to be a mirror to the other, we become immune to toxicity. We come to the profound realization that people are indeed all good and negative people are just “victims” to their own evil purposes.
We become suppressive or antisocial personalities when we lose touch with our true selves. Without contact with our spiritual nature, it is easy to be crushed by criticisms, failures and eventually become hopeless.
With the following exercise you can end duality in relationships and build your immunity to negative personalities:
- Make a list of all the negative people you know of, then write all the qualities that exist in them, which you do not like, or “hate”.
- Next to this list, write all of the incidents you yourself have exhibited these same qualities.
If you can’t find any ways in which you have acted out or thought the same qualities you are being dishonest. We all carry the seeds of the darkest qualities—those of Hitler or a serial killer—and we also carry the seeds of the purest qualities—those of Mother Theresa or Jesus.
Carl Jung says “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” In other words, we experience resistance in the midst of “negative” people because we actually are actually experiencing that resistance within ourselves. What we most hate in others, we most deny in ourselves.
Each person’s spiritual journey is unique and does not need to be rushed. Take your time, stay positive and be easy with yourself. You do not have to sit amongst a crew of toxic individuals to prove your spirituality. Consider this information as a guide to your own journey and remember your journey is to be holistic, challenging, enlightening yet rewardingly enjoyable.