Self Identity – Who Am I?

self identity, who am I
Cut to a Hollywood/Bollywood scene. A Hospital room. The actor is lying comatose on the bed. Suddenly the fingers move. The overjoyed family/paramour gathers around the protagonist.

Eyes open and the disconcerted actor is seen asking people worriedly, “Who Am I?”

Identity is not only knowing the name and details. It’s about knowing who you really are, at the core , once all the masks put to accommodate society one way or the other, fall off.

Funnily enough, this scene is played out and forgotten too, so often in our daily lives that we have forgotten the significance of discovering the answer to this question. Life suddenly seems boring , empty and meaningless. And whatever role we have convinced ourselves to play; that of a Husband/Wife/Boss/Employee etc. seems unfulfilling.

We have been sleepwalking all our life and suddenly we have been jolted awake into asking, “Who after all, am I? What is my identity?” and then the search begins. For a deeper, more meaningful role to play in our lives.

This role will be the most authentic one that we will play in our lives. The role of who we really are. Because once this question starts nagging us, nothing but authenticity will suffice.

Importance of Self-Identity for Happiness

Some, I am sure, will wonder why this question, of knowing ourselves is so important. Many find it irrelevant and put answering this question off. But ask anybody, who has been successful and long-lastingly HAPPY in their lives, about the degree of importance that self knowledge has played in their lives.

Self knowledge leads to self-mastery. Self Mastery empowers you to Self-Govern. Self Governance means that you are in total control of your mind and your emotional centre which ensures that you respond to situations and deal with them constructively to

1) Get rid of negativity and stress in your life.

2) Become a better problem solver.

3) Get a positive work-life balance.

Importance of Self Identity for Success

Also, once we know our authentic selves, it’s easier for us to find the purpose of our lives. Having a well-defined purpose makes it easier for us to be successful by giving us a direction to work in.

Those who haven’t been too successful in their lives are more often than not, unaware of their strengths and are applying them elsewhere.

You work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it ~ Gautam Buddha (Tweet this)


Why is that we wait for an ‘accident’ or a mishap to occur in our lives to ‘jolt’ us into asking this most fundamental question? Nature in its wise ways ensures that a child develops a sense of self as early as age 2.

This process of creating a self identity lasts till a child is 7. (Piaget calls this the pre-operational stage. The term pre-operational itself is suggestive of a stage that has to be experienced before a person gets operational).

What happens in this stage can either make or mar the process of creation of self identity. The importance of this question is realised in the above movie scene where not knowing his identity causes the actor concern. So, WHO ARE YOU?

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About the Author

Khyati Birla is both a certified Personal Empowerment Coach and a Certified Master Spiritual Life Coach. She heads Mind-‘O’-Matter, an organization that provides personal and group coaching on various topics like raising Emotional Intelligence, Personal Laws of Success and develops an empowered attitude in her clients on the way.

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