On Dangerous Ground: Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships

unhealthy relationships

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings. ~ Lao Tzu (Tweet this)

Jason and Sophie dated for three years and got married two years back.They were always happy in each other’s company but lately Sophie has started mentioning that the financial pressure of running a house, saving for the future and their high-pressure jobs are not giving them enough time to be with each other. There are arguments and fights on small issues and Jason has started abusing her. They have started lying to each other and hiding things.

Being in love, in a relationship is definitely a beautiful feeling and it does make you feel as if you are on cloud nine. But, after a few years things might become different, sometimes ugly. Sometimes, people adjust to the changing situations and life moves on. But sometimes, situations take a wrong turn and a relationship turns unhealthy.

It is possible to find out if your relationship is becoming sour if a few signs are monitored carefully.

When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. ~ Deepak Chopra (Tweet this)

Tell-tale signs of unhealthy relationships to watch out for:

  • Lack of communication – We all need to communicate with people around us. When partners do not talk to each other on a regular basis, do not feel the need to discuss the details of things and at times, start hiding things or lie to each other, it rings an alarm that something is not right.
  • Arguments and fights take the front seat – When discussions are replaced by arguments and fights, you stop respecting each other’s opinions and do not have patience to listen to your partner or vice-versa, then there is something terribly wrong with your relationship.
  • Lack of respect – Respect is one of the major factors required to keep a relationship healthy. When partners stop respecting each other’s feelings, or choices and do not care for what the other person wants, needs or feels, also means you are heading in the wrong direction.
  • You do not make efforts – It is very important to make your partner feel good and special. In a healthy relationship, people try a few small gestures that make their better-half feel loved and special. It fades away when the relationship is in a bad place.
  • You are not partners – Life partners mean that you share everything equally and have an equal say in every decision. Whereas, if the relation is not healthy, one person is having more control and say over every decision than the other.

A Healthy Relationship does not drag you down. It inspires  you to be better. ~ Unknown (Tweet this)

Case Study

Akshara, who went through a break up after a five-year relationship, recalls that when she was going through a rough patch , they:

  • often had fights whenever they tried to talk and sort things out,
  • tried to hide things from each other and
  • often made excuses for staying away
  • Intimacy goes for a toss – When a relationship hits a rough patch, an important visible sign is lack of physical and emotional intimacy. Partners do not feel so close and loved and they do not spend quality time in each other’s company.
  • Negative traits become more visible – If things start moving in the wrong direction, partners start noticing negatives of their better half and completely ignore the positive aspects. In short, the better half is not better anymore.
  • Apart from the above mentioned signs, you may notice many more unpleasant experiences like the blame game, infidelity, loss of trust, violence, etc. which are visible when the relationship turns sour.


It is a dream for everyone to have a fairy-tale relationship and a life full of love and happiness. But, the truth is every relationship goes through its fair share of ups and downs.

Two individuals are never the same and will have differences. Sometimes, a couple is able to resolve them and life goes on. But, at times, the differences become more powerful than the love and commitment that two individuals feel for each other.

Reap the healthy benefits of a good relationship. But, one should always be alert if the relationship is taking a wrong turn. Do not ignore the signs and if you feel that your efforts are not enough to reverse the damage, take it as a sign that life goes on (and you move on with it!)… and remember, nothing is more important than your physical and mental well-being!!!

Don’t feel lonely when you are together. Overcome unhealthy relationships and have a sense of a secured relationship lasting a lifetime.

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About the Author

Varsha Tyagi is a Master's in Psychology with 5 years of Experience as a Life Skills Coach and a Counseling Psychologist. She has worked with many schools, colleges and corporates as a Counselor and a Life Skills Trainer and dealt with both children and adults. She is currently working as a Life Skills Facilitator with an organization.

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