Pamper your Children the Right Way
Becoming parents is one of the most joyous moments of life. With it comes myriad responsibilities, beautiful moments to cherish, some unavoidable inconvenience and above everything, a 24/7 alertness to keep the child safe, happy, healthy and protected. Pamper your children the right way.
Maria Shriver, author of several bestselling books and ex-wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger, says “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”
Rearing children to become fine human beings, who face the challenges of life with equanimity, involves a lot of hard work, commitment and clearly-evolved principles and a code of behavior for the parents.
Pamper your children with love
Yes, you got that right. Pamper your children. As parents you are their world in the beginning and then you become benefactors, caregivers and their emotional support system. Pamper your children with infinite love; make them feel wanted and secure.
Andrea was an only child. Her parents did not want her to grow up selfish and conceited. So, quite often when she got a special treat or a toy either parent would sit next to her and say, “Give me some too.” Andrea was reluctant at first, but soon began sharing what she could. She grew up to be generous and sensitive to others’ needs.
Pamper your children with gifts. Let them enjoy every moment of growing up. But keep a hold on your splurging money for them.
While being generous also make children realize (when they are old enough to understand):
- There is a limit to what you can spend and what the child needs
- Your child should learn to share whatever needs to be shared
Intelligent, sensible and sensitive moderation in the way we provide for our children is crucial to making children realize the value of everything in life.
American author and former school teacher John Taylor Gatto asks, “Shouldn’t we also ask ourselves what the consequences are of scrambling to provide the “most” of everything to our children in a world of fast dwindling resources?”
Betty suddenly shouted at the top of her voice, “And don’t you dare poke your nose in my affairs.” She was talking to her dad. Her mother took her to task immediately. “You can’t talk to your dad in that tone and mind what you say.” “No big deal,” replied Betty unflustered, “I’ve heard dad screaming at his mom in the same way. If he can yell at his parents so can I.”
The best and easiest way to instill the right values in your child is to lead by example. Treat everyone around you with love and respect. Let sincerity be evident in every word and action when interacting with people always (and especially in the presence of a child).
Honesty and transparency for interpersonal relations is inculcated in the child when you infuse them in your interactions with everyone. It would therefore be redundant to say that you should avoid bickering, shouting and flinging insults at one another.
Ronald A Heifetz, author of “The Practice of Adaptive leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World” says, “Worry not that your child listens to you; worry most that they watch you.”
Respect your child—as a baby, as a toddler, and as he grows up. Pay attention to his needs. Avoid laughing away when he makes strange requests. Try and find out why he is making one. Be sensitive to his likes and dislikes.
Most of them will border on the impossible, but buried among these childlike, imaginative demands are some little pleas for a better feeling of security for more reassurance of love. Fine tune yourself to recognize what the child really wants, and within the limits of practicality and common sense make that available.
Do not :
- Over protect or over-pamper children
- Compare them to peers who do better—this is a big no-no. Be firm when you want to point out their faults but also encourage and motivate them to do better.
- Differentiate between siblings. You will create the premise for jealousy that children may have all through their lives.
- Evade questions or lie to children in tricky situations. You never know when they will do the same and fool you and others.
- Discipline them too much or give them too much leeway. Both tend to eventually mess up children’s emotional quotient and warp their social skills.
Somewhere along the line we, as parents, end up either becoming too sensitive to children’s demands and strive to fulfill their every wish, or we implement tough disciplinary guidelines where children are deprived of love and warmth.
Also Read : Bonding with your Children
Pamper your children the right way, but don’t go overboard. Being a sincere friend, a perceptive mentor, and a supportive but unprejudiced ally to your children helps them become happy, strong and positive individuals. This is what successful parenting is all about.