10 Tips For Managing A Long Distance Relationship

long distance relationship

I don’t cry because we’ve been separated by distance, and for a matter of years. Why? Because for as long as we share the same sky and breathe the same air, we’re still together. ~ Donna Lynn Hope (Tweet this)

A long distance relationship is undeniably hard. Anyone who has been in one knows how much work they require (and anyone who has not can probably imagine how stressful and confusing—and trying—they may be). The good news is, millions of people have been in a successful long distance relationship, which means you have a shot at making it work.

Tips to strengthen your long distance relationship

Being in a long distance relationship can be quite exhausting. Here are a few tips to help you strengthen your relationship and keep the spark alive:

1. Give each other space

Though it may feel like all you have is space, it is important to remember that communication is even harder in a long distance relationship. People will misinterpret text messages, emails, and phone calls because there is much more strain than usual. If you remember to stick to your schedule and avoid excessive communication (read: space), your relationship will be better off in the long run.

Giving space and time is the best recipe for a long-term relationship to work. ~ Abhishek Tiwari (Tweet this)

2. Consider this an adventure

Though there are probably other adventures you would rather take with your partner, if you both view this as a positive and enlightening experience, it will truly help you in the long run. If you both act as if this is an opportunity rather than a hindrance, you will feel happier in the present as well as in the long run.

Love is meant to be an adventure. ~ Gordon B. Hinckley (Tweet this)

3. Be clear

Perhaps one of the most important steps to take—and you should take it right away—is to be clear with one another. Be clear about your intentions, your expectations, and your feelings. If you feel sad one night, don’t play it off in order to make your partner feel comfortable.

Be clear about your feelings—whether you are happy, sad, insecure or anything else. Hiding how you feel is not going to benefit you or your partner and it certainly won’t benefit your relationship in the long run.

Clarity is power. The more clear you are about what you want, the more likely you are to achieve it. ~ Billy Cox (Tweet this)

4. Be creative

Texting a sweet “good morning” and a “good night” is something that most of us appreciate, but try to also be a bit more creative in the ways in which you contact one another. If you are big on social media, try posting a sweet picture of the two of you once a week.

Try to remember the big (or little!) things in your partner’s day and call or text them some encouragement. If you let your communication get stale or routine, it is easy to become hostile. Simply calling or texting them, “How are you?” is not going to be enough for the depth of your relationship to grow.

Make visible what, without you, might perhaps never have been seen. ~ Robert Bresson (Tweet this)

5. Make time for one another

Yes, making time for each other is important virtually (FaceTime, Skype), but it is also important to make time for one another in the physical form. If you two are separated due to jobs and you are simply in different cities, make sure you plan trips to see each other—something to look forward to. If it is possible, seeing each other as much as you can will help remind you both that you are both still “all in” to the relationship.

No one is busy in the world. It’s all about priorities. ~ Anonymous (Tweet this)

6. Be together, apart

The 21st century is truly an amazing world. There are plenty of ways to be together without actually being together. We can connect with people over a group (or private) chat. We can connect on social media; and we can schedule fun events to partake in with each other, even when we are apart.

You two can watch the same movie or television show at the same time without needing to be in the same room. If you have never scheduled such an event, your partner will love the suggestion and it will make you feel close to one another, even if you are not.

7. Know what’s going on

One of the best ways to stay truly connected with one another, even in a long distance relationship, is to know what’s going on with one another. Know each other’s work schedules, each other’s friendships, what hobbies each of you is involved in, etcetera. If you are aware of what your partner is doing in their day (without being overly concerned or paranoid about anything), you will feel closer to them in the long run.

8. Set boundaries

Again, one of the most important steps to a successful long distance relationship is setting boundaries in the beginning. One of the easiest ways to start feeling insecure in a long distance relationship is by not having any boundaries with one another.

When will you talk on the phone, when will you visit next, how often are each of you going out with a group of friends, who should be contacting who, and so on and so forth. Boundaries are key for any relationship, but a long distance relationship, especially, needs clear and strong boundaries.

A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect. ~ Anonymous (Tweet this)

9. Be positive

Keeping an open mind and a positive attitude is the best way to approach your long distance relationship. If either (or both) of you go into this feeling negative or pessimistic toward it, it will not benefit either of you in the long run. You should absolutely allow yourself to feel sad or emotional when you are feeling that way, but in general, be as positive as you can be. It will benefit the both of you.

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. ~ Socrates (Tweet this)

10. Have an end goal

Any solid, long-lasting, long-term, and long distance relationship needs an end goal. You and your partner should have an end in sight in order to successfully accomplish your goals. Will this be for one year, or five, or six months? Knowing when you two will be together—or what will come when you are no longer apart—will help you both have clarity and achieve your goals. Here are a few more tips to survive the long distance relationship.

Long distance relationships are hard but can be very worthwhile. Work with one another, communicate clearly, and stay positive—it will be worth it in the end.

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About the Author

Jessica Tholmer has a degree in English Literature. Jessica is a full-time writer for a small company, but she writes for multiple other forums. Jessica writes about love, life, and everything in between for HelloGiggles, though her work has been featured on Nerve, The Gaggle, The Conversation, and The Siren as well.

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