How To Improve Your Relationship By Expressing Your Feelings
Expressing your feelings can create harmony. Feelings are an integral part of our personality. The day we are born, feelings are born with us. Initially they relate only to the physical things (hunger, cold, pain, etc.) and then as we grow so do our feelings. They take the shape of emotions.
The two extremes of expressing your feelings
In childhood expressions of love, anger, jealously, frustration, fondness, and annoyance are straightforward. Because of our innocence, we are blissfully unaware of their results. As a result, we just express whatever it is and set ourselves free from any resulting emotional burden. But as we grow we start hiding our feelings due to various reasons.
For example, one of my friends casually mentioned to her husband that,”For all these years, you express your love through cards, flowers and gifts on special occasions. But it’s different for me. I don’t understand, why if we love each other so much, then why do we need to do those things.” She had never even said ‘I love you.’ Her husband couldn’t bear her coolness any longer and without even mentioning it to her, he got himself transferred at work to stay away from the family.
Don’t be afraid of expressing your feelings to your loved ones before it is too late. Just hug them and say something nice to them, we never know when the Lord will call them home ~ Glen Ram (Tweet this)
Expressing your feelings has both a sweet and sour taste and we can’t ignore its importance. Feelings of love, appreciation, fondness, respect and admiration boosts the morale of both the conveyor and the recipient. Many is the time we long for these expression to be reciprocated. When they are not, we become frustrated.
This applies to all relations—be it your parents, brothers, sisters, colleagues, in-laws or friends. I agree conveying feelings is not easy. Sometimes it is spontaneous, other times it requires lot of courage. Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof asked his wife, “Do you love me?” After some resistance she admits she does, and he remarked, “After twenty five years it is nice to know.”
Assuming others can simply read your mind doesn’t work. Hiding or ignoring our feelings can only create problems. The fear of non-acceptance is a negative attitude which shatters relationships. It is important to share good as well as bad feelings. Sharing or describing them to the concerned person results in a soothing of inner pain and the building of a strong bond.
The best advice I can give you is to say whatever you feel while expressing your feelings, but do so in an amicable way. It is quite possible that the other person might not be aware of the pain or hurt they may have accidentally caused. Pick up the phone, talk face-to-face. You can even try expressing your feelings through writing or simply sending a card. The harder it is for you to do, the more deeply your action will be felt by the recipient. This is a strong motivator. Your smallest action might have the biggest result.
If you’re not expressing your feelings, however, you still need to remember that they still exist. You are just holding them in… where the pressure builds. Not expressing your feelings is a bit like a bubbling volcano full of hot lava. You don’t want it to erupt… but you know at some point it will… and when it does, it will damage everything with which it comes into contact. Don’t let that happen to you.
On some personal issue or another, Rita (not her real name) got deeply hurt and stopped talking to her husband. Her husband also never mentioned it (even though he knew she was upset), thinking that with the passage of time she will eventually calm down. This was a big mistake on both sides. Neither of them cared for each other’s feelings more than they cared for their own. Their frustration resulted in day-to-day quarrels. Today they are on the verge of divorce. Had they ignored their egos and shared their feelings, their life would have been better.
Express your feelings. Sometimes we find it difficult to word our feelings. If that sentence adequately describes you, then you may find it rough-going in times of trouble. You might want to start practicing now. Feelings ignored for a long time die a natural death. It’s never too late to express an “I love you” or to convey that you are hurt. Speak them out openly without any hesitation. It will spread love and harmony in all your relations.
Expressing your feelings makes for a better “YOU!”
Also read :- Feelings and Emotions : Signals for Personal Growth
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