10 Tips for Taking A Break in Your Relationship

taking a break

You can love someone so much…But you can never love people as much as you can miss them. ~ John Green (Tweet this)

Though no one in a relationship strives to take a break from their loved one, it is sometimes unavoidable. When two people are working through their issues and potentially keep running into issues, sometimes taking a break from your relationship is the best option for recovery. Instead of completely breaking up, taking space apart or taking a break from each other and working through issues on your own, is a great idea. You will come back together with a clearer idea about what you want and need from your partner and from your relationship.

Vital steps to follow when you are taking a break

1. Spend time alone

After an actual breakup, it is easy to want to immerse yourself in friends, new relationship prospects, or both. It is important to spend time with other people when you are feeling down, but for just a break, the situation requires something different. Though it is always a good idea to talk through things with your friends, spending time alone is very beneficial. Spending time alone will allow you to reflect on what is happening with your relationship and what you genuinely want out of the outcome of this break.

2. Reflect

Reflecting on your feelings, your partners’ feelings, and your relationship is vital. If you and your partner take a break without you spending time thinking about what you are feeling, there is not really a point to taking a break.

Reflecting on how you feel, on what you want, and what you believe will help you come back together with a head that is very clear.

3. Don’t worry

Worrying is the easiest way to cause yourself more stress. It is perfectly normal to wonder what will happen post-break, but it is not beneficial to either of you to stress out about it. If you and your partner agree to take a break, let yourself use that time to relax, think about what you want, and hope for an optimal outcome. Try not to let yourself stress out about the results.

4. Set boundaries

If you and your partner are both clear about what this break means to each of you (and your relationship), things will go much smoother. Are you dating other people? Are you still sending each other text messages? Is one of you going on a vacation out of town? There are so many things to establish to make the break a lot easier for both of you. Talk about what matters to you and what matters to your partner, and come up with a solid conclusion. Also here is a complete guide on how to break up without a fight to make things more easier for you and your partner!

5. Cherish your partner

Taking a break often has negative connotation, but it is not always accurate. There is a saying that we have all heard –

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

It is sometimes incredibly true, and it sometimes falls short. With this break, remind yourself what you and your partner have, what he or she brings to your life, and how much he or she means to you. Reminding yourself of all of the reasons you love this person can actually be easier when you are apart. Let it all sink in.

“Love when you are ready, not when you are lonely”

6. Be honest

Taking a break is supposed to be easier than actually breaking up, but it does not always come across that way. If you are not missing your partner as much as you thought you might, be honest with yourself about it. If you are feeling less stressed out during this break, be honest with yourself about it. If you do not necessarily feel the urge to be together anymore, be honest with yourself (and your partner) about it.

This break is supposed to be about reflection and if you are dishonest with yourself about how you are feeling, there was no point to the break in the first place.

7. Do not date other people

Like the iconic motif in the television show Friends, taking a break does not mean seeing other people. You and your partner decided to take a break because you need to reflect on your current relationship, not because you need to pursue other people. If you are interested in being with someone else, or multiple other people, it is important to communicate that to your partner.

8. Be optimistic

 It is not uncommon for one person to push “taking a break” more than the other. If you were not necessarily emphatic about taking a break from your relationship, it is definitely important to stay optimistic about it.

A break does not mean a breakup.

Some people need to take space to reflect on what they are doing and how they are feeling. People process feelings in different ways, and even if you are sure about how you feel, it is important to remain optimistic while your partner processes on their own.

9. Remember that breakups are not cures

If you go back into your space apart with the assumption that it has solved any or all of your previous problems, you might be disappointed. Though it is important to stay realistic, it is also important to be realistic. If you and your partner are working through things, a break will not make everything go away. Once you two come back together, be very practical and open to the idea of talking through the things that brought you to the break in the first place. There is a famous saying which goes like,

 “Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable” (Tweet this)

10. Trust

Do not spend this break thinking about how you might have trust issues with your partner. Do not focus on how your partner might think this break is a reason for you to break his or her trust. What you should be thinking about is what you want out of the relationship. If you cannot get past your trust issues, perhaps it is time to consider the next step in your relationship. If trust is something you never have to worry about, count that as a win and move forward to the next step in your relationship.


About the Author

Jessica Tholmer has a degree in English Literature. Jessica is a full-time writer for a small company, but she writes for multiple other forums. Jessica writes about love, life, and everything in between for HelloGiggles, though her work has been featured on Nerve, The Gaggle, The Conversation, and The Siren as well.

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