10 Great Reasons To Try An Open Relationship
Open relationships can give you the freedom to create unique relationships, explore yourself and your sexuality and challenge society’s expectation. ~ Tristan Taormino (Tweet this)
Let’s start this out by saying that open relationships really are not for everybody. There are plenty of couples that are not comfortable sharing their partners with anyone else, and that is more than okay. That being said, there are plenty of other couples that are open to getting to know other partners, whether together or separate.
There comes a time in many relationships where something needs to change in order to grow the partnership. An open relationship may be something you end up interested in trying out. Here are the best ways to go about having the perfect open relationship.
1. Discuss everything about an open relationship, first
If you and your partner are both open to your new relationship exploration, it is vital that the two of you discuss everything prior to jumping in. Talk about your feelings, talk about your partner’s feelings, talk about what you need and want, and what he or she needs and wants. Discuss your fears, your hopes, and what your end goal is with the new terms of your relationship. It is important to have everything completely out in the open so that neither of you gets hurt.
2. Lay some ground rules
Is this open relationship about being intimate—physically or emotionally—with someone else, or is it about getting to know new people, or is it about discovering what you may be missing in your current relationship? Whatever you are seeking, it is important to lay some rules so that neither of you ends up feeling betrayed. If your partner does not want you being physical with another person, it is vital that you respect those wishes, and vice versa. Discussing the rules will help you both maintain your trust in one another.
3. Talk about your experience
Once you two have treaded the open relationship waters, go out to dinner and discuss what you have experienced. Maybe neither of you like the way it makes you feel, or maybe you both do. Discussing initial experiences is important to know how to proceed next.
4. Have boundaries
Boundaries are vital for a successful open relationship. For instance, mutual friends are probably not super high on the list for either of you. Getting your friends involved can add unnecessary complications to your current situation. Maybe you don’t want your partner spending time with your coworkers, or his or her exes either. All of these are valid and should be discussed in full detail before you embark.
5. Details are unnecessary
Though it may be important to you and your partner to know who either of you are spending time with, it may not be necessary to divulge all of the details of your new relationship(s). Where you went to dinner, what kind of food you ate, what movie you saw, how great of a time you had—all of these are examples of details that are probably not entirely necessary to share. If your partner asks, be honest, but there is no need to give up the details otherwise.
6. Keep it all separate
If things continue going well in your open relationship, great! Keeping your partner and your new partner (or partners) separate is a great idea, however. Your spouse should be the one to accompany you to family events or work parties, not your new partners. Even if the two of you are comfortable with your new relationship, it is better to keep it separate from the other aspects of your life.
7. Jealousy is okay
It is relatively inevitable that you become jealous of your spouse’s new partner, or vice versa. It is absolutely normal to feel jealous, but it is vital that you voice your concerns and discuss them with one another. Letting jealousy fester never leads to a positive result.
8. Prioritize each other
Though having an open relationship is about spending time with other people, there is a reason that you are still with your spouse. Make sure you put your spouse first, no matter what. The minute everyone else becomes your priority, things will start to fade between you two. If you wish to stay in a healthy, loving relationship with your current spouse, keeping their needs and desires as your top priority is very important.
9. Set an end goal
Sure, open relationships can last forever. There are plenty of couples who are together forever while maintaining an open relationship with other people. Great! If that is your end goal, talk about it. Check in with one another and let your spouse know that you are interested in keeping your relationship open. If you aren’t enjoying it, that is okay as well. Let your spouse know that you want to close the relationship back up eventually, or even right now. The most important thing is to be aware of what both of your intentions are.
10. Have fun!
There is no need to stress out about having an open relationship. If you try it out and it is not for you, that is perfectly acceptable. If you try it out and you love it, enjoy yourself! Do not worry about the judgment of others. As long as you and your spouse are happy, life is good. Enjoy getting to know new people!
Open relationships really are not for everyone. It is okay to tell your partner that you do not want an open relationship, and it is also okay to tell them that you might want to try it out. Communication, honesty, and trustworthiness are the key factors in maintaining a healthy open relationship.