10 Ways To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work
I don’t cry because we’ve been separated by distance, and for a matter of years. Why? Because for as long as we share the same sky and breathe the same air, we’re still together. ~ Donna Lynn Hope (Tweet this)
Being in a long distance relationship is undoubtedly tricky. It requires more effort than any other relationship – from both sides. It can be emotionally draining, completely exhausting, and yet, very rewarding. Usually because there is no other choice, couples may be separated by distance. There is no need to fret – if you two love one another, you will make it work.
Tips to make your long distance relationship work
A long distance relationship has always been associated with the stigma that it is short-lived. But these simple tips will help you make that relationship a happy and a beautiful one.
1. Build trust
The most important thing in a long distant relationship is trust. Even if your relationship is strong before the distance comes into play, it is important to maintain and build on that trust. New obstacles will arise upon moving away from each other. You will not always be aware of everything going on in one another’s lives. Here is where the trust comes in – it is more than necessary to be open, honest, and most of all, trusting with one another.
It takes two to do the trust tango – the one who risks (the trustor) and the one who is trustworthy (the trustee); each must play their role. ~ Charles H. Green (Tweet this)
2. Stay positive
There are bad days and there are good days – in life, as well as in this specific situation. If one of you is having a harder time than the other, it is important to make sure you talk yourself back into positivity. Though it may be hard, try not to resent each other, or focus on the entire negative aspect in the situation.
3. Tell each other about your day
Otherwise known as “communicate.” Though it may seem obvious, telling each other about your day can truly bring you closer to one another. Even the little things are worthy of sharing – what you had for lunch, how your book is, what TV show you are watching. The unimportant things in life make the world go ‘round.
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. ~ George Bernard Shaw (Tweet this)
4. Be patient
Similar to staying positive, being patient is key for this relationship to be a success. Having trust and building the new foundation to your relationship will require much patience. Remember to breathe through the frustrations, and to communicate with your partner. The hardship will pass.
Long distance relationship do not rely on physical love, long distance relationships are driven by the love that inspires your heart, mind and soul. ~ Anonymous (Tweet this)
5. Make small gestures
Instead of just writing text messages, try sending a handwritten letter. Send flowers. Buy your partner a gift card for a movie and see it at the same time as one another. Send a good morning text message, and call to say good night. The littlest things will remind your loved one that you, well, love them.
6. Set a goal
If there is no end in sight to the long distance, things can be very hard to handle. If you moved to Portland, Oregon and he/she still lives in Austin, Texas but neither of you have any interest in moving – it may not be worth maintaining the relationship. However, if there is an end in sight – you can’t wait to move to Austin in a year after school – it should work out for the both of you. If there is not an end goal, things will be much trickier.
7. Have ground rules
It is okay that some people have their insecurities. If you do not love it when he/she goes out drinking with friends you don’t know, discuss it. If he/she does not like when you turn your phone off for a few hours, discuss that too. If you two know how to push each other’s buttons, try to do the opposite of that.
8. Give each other a trinket
If you give him your favorite T-shirt, or he gives you his over-sized hoodie, you two will have a bit of one another to physically hang onto. There is something seriously romantic about having something more than a picture or your cell phone to remind you of your loved one.
It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important. ~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (Tweet this)
Obviously talking to one another is extremely important, but make sure you really talk. Share the little things about your day, but also talk about everything in between. Talk about what is going on in the world, what is going on with your families, what is going on in your head. If you have concerns, express them. If you are worried, talk it through. If you are overjoyed with excitement for your next visit, shout it from the mountains. Expressing yourself is crucial. Talk it out.
10. Visit each other
If you two make lots and lots of plans to see each other – as often as you can – the distance will not feel as harsh. Traveling can be expensive, and for instances like military leave, sometimes there is no other choice and a visit cannot be set. In those instances, video chat as much as possible to remind each other that face-to-face interactions are vital.