I Hate My Life – How to Create a Better Life?

The world is full of people who hate their lives in one way or another. If that describes you, don’t worry: you’re not alone. Ironically, because people cling onto their past for fear of change, they also hang onto “things they hate” for the same reason.

If you want to stop hating your life and bring a positive energy into it, you will have to let go your fears. One way to do this is to realize that, “whatever happens, everything will be fine.” Once you do, you can create a better life for yourself. Because I know that this is easier said than done, I’ve arranged a small list of steps, below, that you can use to start changing things around right away.

List things you hate, rather than say “I hate my life”

First, make a list of things you hate about your life, but try not to just say “I hate my life”. That’s too general. Be specific instead of being vague. Why? Because then you have the makings of things you can actually fix!

For instance, instead of saying “I hate my job,” try to list specific things you hate about your job. Maybe it’s your schedule, your pay, your colleagues or your boss. Once you do, you will have an idea what to work on. Let’s try an example. If it’s your boss, you can either look for a different department in the same company, maybe a different branch office, or perhaps even getting promoted to work for someone else. This one might be the best option because then you have the added benefit that you are now making more money.

The reason that being specific is a better choice for you is because with this method, you may have ended up with more pay, a promotion, and keeping your tenure (and possible retirement) at the same company, whereas if you just had said, “I hate my job,” then the only way to change that is to quit your job. And then where are you? Unemployed in a down economy vs happy, promoted, and better-paid in a down economy. Which one of those two is more likely to make you say I hate my life? And which one is more likely to help you change things around until you actually love your life?

Specificity is your friend. In the same vein, rather than saying the general, “I hate my life,” at least we narrowed it down to specific, more-manageable things.

In this list, you can add your personal things as well. Maybe you dislike your body or some of your habits or perhaps you even dislike your own lack of self-respect. This list will help you identify the weak areas of your life where you can work. If you are specific, you can identify and change those things.

Another point I’d like to make here: Be focused on your own thoughts about your life and not what others say about it. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if the guy next-door hates your life. It only matters what you think. Use only your own opinions here. No one else’s will impact your inner thoughts and feelings as much as your own opinions will.

The reverse here is also true: Any negativity in your life ruins only your life, nobody else’s. Remember this. For that reason what we are trying to do is change not only your life, but also your thoughts about it as well. If we can bring in a better point-of-view, we will have already made tremendous progress. This brings us to the next step.

List Positive Things

This step actually occurs in two parts. First we write the good things we want to add, and then we go back and list the things we’d like to change about the bad things in step one. It’s sneaky, and it works wonders on your subconscious.

Step 2a: List the positive things you want to add to your life. For instance, you can wish for a better relationship, a better job altogether or maybe just an increase in pay. These are not things you want to change, just things you want to invite in to add to what you already have. Again, be specific. How much money do you need, etc.

Step 2b: This is where we list the positive aspects of the things we hate, but we do it in reverse. So for example if you hate your job, think of your job’s positive aspects like maybe it has a regular/fixed income or health benefits or a good friend you have at work. By doing this first, you generate positive feelings about it. Next, we go back and we write down the things we want to change about the place or thing we don’t like. Make sense?

Creating a list of the good things you have in your life helps you become focused to bring more positivity into your behavior. Instead of always thinking of negative things, you will learn to better count your blessings.

Let go of the past

If you tend to focus more on the negative experiences of your life, then the past is something that will usually make you sad. Maybe you keep thinking about people that hurt you in some way in your past; it may have been your parents, your friends or a colleague.

You might not be able to forgive them, but at the same time, you need not let that pain rule your life. You need to learn to accept that certain things cannot be changed. The past is one of them. A better way to handle this is to focus on the present (or perhaps even the future) and think of ways to make your life happier and better.

Surround yourself with positive people

According to experts, being in the company of positive people can help you change your thought process. Try to always be surrounded by positive people. Positive people tend to ignore difficulties in their lives because they are always busy focusing on their positive virtues. The company of positive people can help you make changes and help you to stop saying “I hate my life.”

Maintain a Gratitude Journal

Maintaining a Gratitude Journal can help you live a burden-free and happier life. It will also help you focus on the positive aspects of your life. It can be as small as a compliment from a friend or as simple as someone opening a door for you.

Go for counseling

If the feeling “I hate my life” still persists or if you are feeling helpless, you can go for professional counseling also or join a therapy group.

Avatar photo

About the Author

Vandana is a Personality Enhancement Trainer associated with various Corporate and Management Colleges.

Leave a Reply