How to Get Over Your Ex for Good

Get Over Your Ex

Both women and men are not great when handling a painful break-up and it seems like this is one of the things where you just don’t learn over time. Are you a victim of uncontrollable romantic feelings for your ex? Are you having romantic dreams about your ex? It is time to get over your ex for good. Use your new found energy for positive growth. Let go of the feelings, fall in love with you and believe in yourself.

Before you do something stupid, like getting drunk and texting them in the middle of the night, I suggest you read this article.

Being attracted to your “ex” to the point where you can’t let go and open yourself up for a new relationship is definitely a problem. It can drain you emotionally and affect your professional life and even your health. The fact of the matter is, even if you two do end up together again, it wouldn’t be because of you suffering.

Actually, the more calmly and confidently you handle the situation, the better chance you have of making them think “Didn’t I make a mistake leaving her/him?” So how do you do that?

How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. ~ W. Somerset Maugham (Tweet this)

First of all, I would like to challenge you to be reasonable in a highly emotional situation. Let’s call this what it is:  a problem that needs to be solved. If you truly manage to realize the essence of your current state, you will see the only logical step is choosing a problem-solving method to apply.

Because most of those are business-oriented and based on math, I’d like to save you time wondering what to choose and offer you the one solution proven to work, which can be applied here: the creative problem-solving method.

Creative Problem-Solving Method

The classic “creative problem-solving method” consists of four steps. Because this method assumes that you have been dwelling on the problem for a while, it takes it as a given that you already have all the necessary information.

Basically, what it says is that with the data you already have, your subconscious is more than able to get you out of trouble if you only let it. If you think about it, this is especially true in terms of overcoming an “ex.” Inside you there is all the evidence of how you broke up, what issues you had together, why you keep loving them (even though they don’t deserve it), etc.

Let’s move on to the solution.

1. Shift

I sometimes FEEL that I am right. I do not KNOW that I am. ~ Albert Einstein (Tweet this)

You know how some of our best ideas come while we are in the shower? This is kind of like that. In order to let your subconscious give you the best possible answer, you need to take a step back and free your mind. Shifting your focus may sound difficult to do, but it takes as little as you focusing on a hobby.

For example, when I am swimming, I think of nothing. What’s your “think of nothing” activity?

2. Re-frame

If a problem can’t be solved within the frame it was conceived, the solution lies in reframing the problem. ~ Brian McGreevy (Tweet this)

When you dig deep in an issue, you start forgetting what the actual goal is. Re-framing that goal is what may show you the way. As a person who has recently been through a break up, you are probably all about forgetting your “ex,” but the real goal is having a fulfilling relationship. So what can you do to prepare yourself for this fulfilling relationship?

3. Brainstorm

Inventions are not solely the making of material things, inventions are also the mental unleashing of ideas by a genius with a sixth sense. ~ Michael Bassey Johnson (Tweet this)

Now that you’ve shifted your perspective and re-framed your goal, you can do a little brainstorming. Sit down and write all ideas that come to mind for getting over this person and finding a new loving relationship.

It could be that you will pay more attention to work for a while; or that you will create a profile in an online dating website; or that you will get a dog; or millions of other things. Whatever comes to your mind, write it down. Do not neglect a single idea, because it may sound crazy initially, but then turn out to be IT.

4. Decide

Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do. ~ C.S. Lewis (Tweet this)

Get over your ex now. It is decision time. Have a look at all the ideas that you listed in the previous step and decide which ones you will start with and when. And know this: no decision is ever truly made unless we act on it.

And that’s it! If you take all those steps, you will very soon realize you’ve been healed. Good for you. If you want to help others get over their exes for good too, don’t keep the knowledge to yourself—share this article with your friends and spread the joy.


About the Author

Maya helps women be in happy relationships while having amazing careers. You can see more about what she does on

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