How To Combat The Fear Of Being Alone

fear of being alone

None of us truly like the idea of being alone in our lives. The word “alone” itself has quite a negative connotation to it, but there are a few key things to remember before you let your fear of being alone get in the way of the way you live your life.

Here are a few things to remember to keep you from falling prey to your fear of being alone.

1. Enjoy being alone

It is hard to enjoy something that infinitely scares you, but it is important to remember that being alone is not always negative. Being alone is actually very good for every human being (whether you feel comfortable with it or not). Being alone can be a very positive and fulfilling experience. Finding comfort in being alone is one of the most beneficial experiences of our lives.

Though not many people want to be alone forever, all of us could benefit from learning how to feel comfortable being alone.

The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness. ~ Norman Cousins (Tweet this)

2. Use social media

Though there are plenty of naysayers who do not believe in the power of social media, it truly is a great way to connect with other people. Many of us have online communities on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, and plenty of other social media networks.

There is no shame in finding strength and company in online forums. Though ideally we have a balance of both online and offline companions, there is no shame in relying on your social media friendships to help you feel less alone.

3. Write it out

Like many things in life, keeping a journal might help you feel better about your life “problems” in the long run. Journaling is a great way to remind yourself of what you do have and who is in your life and is also a great way to discuss your feelings while working them out for yourself.

If writing is not your passion, there are other ways to relish in being alone and feeling okay about it. If you prefer to write music, or play music, or knit, or go for a long walk, there is nothing wrong with that. Expressing yourself is a great way to get out your emotions while allowing yourself to find comfort in being alone.

4. Face your fear of being alone

Facing your fear is crucial. Are you afraid of being alone, as in never getting married or having a long-term relationship? Or are you afraid of being alone in the sense that your friends are too busy for you? Are you afraid of being alone in the way in which your family is not around, or too busy for you?

Whichever way you feel alone, it is important to face that fear. Acknowledging why you are afraid of something, or where the root cause is, is a huge key to overcoming the fear.

5. Lean on your friends and family

And if you do have supportive friends and family in your life, lean on them in order to feel less alone. Being near the people who love you is a great way to remind yourself that you are not alone. Even if your friends and family cannot constantly be present in your life, leaning on them will remind you how important you are to them, and vice versa.

6. Talk about it

Keeping your fears to yourself is not a healthy way of combatting them. If you feel comfortable (or if it feels necessary), talking to a counselor or therapist is a great way to overcome your fear. If you can talk to someone who understands, or your friends, family, or partner, that is a great first step to overcoming your fear.

If you don’t have anyone to lean on, therapists and counselors are great connections to understanding where your fear originates in the first place.

7. Find peace in being alone

As mentioned, being alone can be relaxing and beneficial for you. If you can find peace in being alone, you will feel much better in the long run. Eventually, you will find yourself enjoying and relishing your free time, which will ultimately make it less of a “fear.”

And if you couldn’t be loved, the next best thing was to be let alone. ~ L.M. Montgomery (Tweet this)

8. Distract yourself

When you are feeling particularly down about being alone, find ways to distract yourself. Read a book, see a movie, listen to your favorite music, watch a television show. Distractions, though only temporary, are a great way to move on from something that is upsetting you.

9. Don’t dwell

Though it can be hard, dwelling on your fears and/or the act of being alone is unhealthy. If you can move on from your fear, doing so is your best bet. As we said, distracting yourself, finding solace in being alone, and leaning on our friends are all great ways to not dwell.

10. Be positive

Though, again, it can be hard, being positive about your situation is the best bet. If you feel lonely, that is one thing, but if you are afraid of being alone, try to remain optimistic about your future. You never know you will meet in your life, which makes it nearly impossible to know whether or not you will be alone. No one is alone, ultimately. There are billions of people on Earth, and we are all in this together.

Being alone is one of the most common fears in the world. It is perfectly normal to feel alone, or to have a fear of being alone, but the most important thing to remember is that you are not alone.


About the Author

Jessica Tholmer has a degree in English Literature. Jessica is a full-time writer for a small company, but she writes for multiple other forums. Jessica writes about love, life, and everything in between for HelloGiggles, though her work has been featured on Nerve, The Gaggle, The Conversation, and The Siren as well.

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