Here is Something Better Than Goal Setting
There is nothing wrong with wanting to progress in life; after all, growth is our natural inclination. Goal setting can be a wonderful vessel for expression. However, knowing the intentions of a goal can create all the difference in outcome.
If the desire to achieve a goal is a pursuit to relieve our perceived inadequacy—to become more—we will surely be let down come harvest time.
We are already a masterpiece, there’s no one to become. Yet, why is it most of us are striving to better ourselves, as if we are horrible flawed?
In this way, our goal setting becomes a secret plan to one day escape ourselves. Could it be that what we are seeking is something more? Something not obtainable “out there” but rather in ourselves?
What if instead of working to “better ourselves” we simply accepted ourselves as already good enough?
Instead of goal setting, what if we saw ourselves as already complete . . . and from that place, engage in sharing ourselves with the world?
You’re Good Enough
We are trying way too hard at trying to become something, rather than be ourselves. The point I really would like to drive home here is that there is nothing wrong with you.
We are good enough (or not) only in our own eyes. It is the vain, judgmental ego-mind in us that thinks we’re never good enough—because its view is a projected false-image of ourselves onto “ourselves.”
Unless one has experienced the completeness of their true self—which comes through deep self-love and acceptance—then they will always feel incomplete.
If we’re too busy trying to change ourselves we won’t ever have time to get to know ourselves.
In the process of our “self-development” we create futile to-do lists, goals to achieve and an even greater list of things we shouldn’t be or do. As a side note, I just want to use this opportunity to suggest we remove the words “should” and “shouldn’t” from our vocabulary. They’re nasty words. In effect, they mean, “we’re wrong.”
What happens when we live our lives through a list of shoulds and shouldn’ts; aside from self-commendation, is incredible amounts of suppression and repression. What we suppress eventually becomes repressed then depressed, and we all know what that feels like.
Don’t Suppress, Express
We suppress because we fear our wild nature. Our sexual energy is a powerful force we are actually terrified of. Little do we give attention to is the fact that we were born out of sexual energy, it is our life force. However, until we give ourselves leave to express it freely, we will never harness its creative power and feel used by it through lust, addictions, and all sorts of cravings.
What we have to do to actually “transcend” the shadowy sides of ourselves is scary; we have to live everything that is natural to us, and live it fully, without any reserve—blissfully, aesthetically. Sounds terrifying right?
Here’s the thing: we’ve never actually done this. Instead, we live like addicts when we do “express” our bad habits; we go blank and have zero self-awareness. Then . . . when it’s over . . . we wake back up, only now we are filled with guilt and commendation. What hasn’t been done before is being totally and completely with the experience, totally accepting it. Then our love, shining so fiercely, brightens even the darkest places in ourselves.
By actually living with full acknowledgment, a transformation will come.
If you try to transcend, you are going to repress, and repression is the sole reason why people stay stuck with the same New Year’s resolutions.This is the vicious circle. By wanting so badly to become a better person we end up repressing, and because we repress we never grow, so we repress more. Therefore, all true progression takes place during the simple act of self-love, total self-awareness.
I’m willing to guess that most of us have a goal concerning diet/health on our resolution list. Using this as an example, let’s take this opportunity to approach to accomplishing this goal with a shift in awareness.
In a state of total awareness we cannot be food addicts. Awareness makes us free. The problem with a resolution goal is it gives us a new bondage. First was the food, the sugar, the pizza, the overeating—whatever it was. Now the bondage has become the resolution.
We’re still not free, our bondage toward food has just become a bondage toward healthy habits. To be fully aware instead means that now all this addiction is gone! We can eat a cookie, we can eat a salad. You are neither for, nor against. This is the true moderation we all seek but have yet to obtain because our mental slavery towards our own disapproval.
A New Resolution
Can you see the futility of the goals we set? I want to suggest that we make an empowering shift in the way we set goals this year. I am sure no one else will be saying what I am here today—that once in awhile, just for a change this year—if we want to smoke, eat, drink, or make love then let’s do it!
With one thing in mind, though: that we are there while doing it. Let’s bring total self-love into this year by remaining utterly aware in all we do.
The harm is in the addiction. The harm is not in the act. Wakefulness is not concerned with the act; it is concerned with the addiction. My message is that we all set ourselves free from all our addictions (through the willingness to understand ourselves) and by doing so, we will grow beyond any resolution we could have invented.
How would self-love change the way you set goals? Would you find yourself achieving more easily coming from a place of inner abundance? Leave a comment and let me know how this impacts your goals!