7 Lessons Learnt From Being Heart Broken

heart broken

It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson (Tweet this)

Most of us have had our hearts broken at some point or another. It is never easy. It is never painless. It is a rough transition, and no one ever wants to go through it. However, having your heart broken is an experience riddled with life lessons.

My two cents in for the heart broken…

It is an experience that I truly believe everyone needs to survive to fully understand life. There are many lessons you learn in having your heart broken. Let yourself go through it, and soak in the experience.

1. Trust your intuition

Maybe it is too general to say, but in a romantic relationship, you can usually tell when something is off. I am the first to admit that there are lots of different kind of heartbreaks, but speaking solely of a romantic heartbreak, intuition is always a motif.

Something feels off, something seems off, you have always worked harder than you should have to – these things are all indicators that your intuition is spot on. There is nothing wrong with pushing past what you think, and trying it anyway, but there is some value in letting yourself realize that you were always right.

The only valuable thing is intuition. ~ Albert Einstein (Tweet this)

2. You have resources

Both your family and your friends will be there for you during a breakup. Chances are, someone has been through something very similar, and those people will be solid resources for you.

Let yourself listen to other people’s stories, and let yourself learn from them as well. Even though it feels like no one could understand what you are going through, it is simply not true. Everyone’s pain is different, but many people before you have felt a similar pain. Let them love you.

 3. You should always come first

In a relationship, it is perceived as selfish to put yourself first, and maybe that is true. When you have had your heart broken, it is okay (even vital) to put yourself first.

It is a natural feeling to want to still prioritize your former partner, but the sooner you can break that habit, the better. Take yourself out for dinner, get a manicure, spend an entire Saturday reading a book or watching your favorite TV show. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, especially now.

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. ~ Charles R. Swindoll (Tweet this)

4. Discover what you want

One of the harshest truths that comes from a breakup is the reality that there were many things you did not appreciate about your partner. While in the relationship, focusing on those qualities is harsh and harmful.

Once the relationship is over however, it is necessary to pick apart the relationship.

  • You never liked how his friends came before you?
  • You can’t stand his relationship with his mother?

Whatever it is, you know now that those things are triggers for you, and you do not have to put up with them in your next relationship. These are called silver linings.

5. No one is perfect

During a breakup, it is extremely normal to focus on his/her imperfections, and then turn on yourself to do the same thing. You are right; he/she has flaws, and so do you. There is no need to pick yourself apart or make yourself feel like you did something wrong. Sometimes, things just don’t work out. And no one is ever perfect.

You just need to find your perfect.

6. Rediscover yourself

It is normal to lose yourself in a relationship, though most of us try not to do so. Once you have broken up with someone, you lose a bit of yourself, along with losing that person.

It is perfectly normal to feel uncertain about your next step. It is perfectly normal to not know how to go on without consulting that person about anything.

Take this opportunity to find yourself again.

  • Maybe you are new.
  • Maybe it is a former part of yourself.
  • Maybe you have given up painting and you would like to pick it back up again.
  • Maybe you haven’t read your favorite book in three years.

Whatever you need to do to define yourself, do it, and learn from it. It will be refreshing to find yourself.

Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby. ~Ruth E. Renkel (Tweet this)

7. Falling in love again is possible

This might be the hardest lesson to learn, but you will learn it. It does not always take meeting a new person to realize it, though that can be helpful.

All you have to remember is that everything happens for a reason, even having your heart broken! The universe is unfolding for you exactly as it is meant to unfold. You will find someone that makes you realize that love can be a lot deeper than what you have experienced up until now. It will come again, and you will be brand new.

When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do do, and often do do, much much better. ~ Coco Ginger (Tweet this)

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About the Author

Jessica Tholmer has a degree in English Literature. Jessica is a full-time writer for a small company, but she writes for multiple other forums. Jessica writes about love, life, and everything in between for HelloGiggles, though her work has been featured on Nerve, The Gaggle, The Conversation, and The Siren as well.

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