Forgive and Forget
Forgive and forget and life will be much easier. Forgiveness is not always easy and the more you are hurt by a situation, the less apt you will be to forgive and forget. All of us are a part of society and interact with people in different capacities as individuals. People differ in their thought processes, emotions, values and the ways in which they communicate and interact with others.
There is no person who has not at some time or the other been hurt by another or who has not hurt another. We may accept the lessons learnt but find it difficult to forgive the person hurting us. Have you been hurt by someone and are unable to overcome the emotional trauma? You are not alone.
Splendor, forgiveness, fortitude, cleanliness, absence of malice, and absence of pride; these are the qualities of those endowed with divine virtues, O Arjuna. ~ Bhagavat Gita (Tweet this)
It is said, “To err is human, but to forgive is divine.” Forgiveness completes the healing process. We need to forgive and forget to allow us a chance at happiness. The first step is to understand clearly that forgiveness is not a favor we are granting to others, but truly a gift we give to ourselves.
We just have to believe in the power of time to heal and just let go. Just rid your mind of hurtful events and the people related to them and erasing all emotions about them and see how it transforms your life and the life of those forgiven by you.
The human psyche being what it is, all of us have a tendency to dwell upon the occasions we have been hurt and foster negative feelings about the person or persons who have hurt us. This process of brooding feeds on itself and soon overtakes the rational part of our thought process. The individual is then drawn into a cycle of self-pity and depression.
To help ourselves to let go of negative emotions, we need to push away our hurt and, accept the fact that we need to heal ourselves. Positive affirmations like
- “I choose to let go of …….”
- “I am free of …..”
Tips on Forgiving
Forgiving allows us to move ahead in life and evolve into better human beings. The process is not so easy. But here are some tips to make this process easier:
1. Decide to Move On
Determine to put the past behind you and heal yourself. Take a rational view of the situation. Weigh the benefits of moving ahead. Entertaining bitter thoughts only serves to relive the painful moments and put you further down. In contrast you can unburden your emotional baggage by forgiving the person.
2. Choose to be Unaffected by the Past
Realize that we have control over ourselves and our thoughts and actions but not over that of others. Each individual is responsible for his or her actions. We do have a choice not to be affected by anybody’s negative actions. Letting go of the past becomes easy.
3. Put Yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes
Often we see only one side of a situation—ours. If we stop to think why a person reacted the way he or she did, we understand the motivation behind the other person’s action. Often, we might have reacted in the exact same way as the other person. Empathy opens the doors to understanding and forgiveness.
4. Focus on the Present
Past hurts linger on and we never forget the lessons learnt. We should however learn to live in the present. If we invest in ourselves and live in the moment, we move into the light and do not allow the past to cast its dark shadows.
5. Find Reasons to be Happy and Grateful
If we find reasons for happiness, we allow ourselves to be grateful for all the joys each day brings and soon we will feel completely healed. You make the choice to either dwell on the pain caused by others or you want to forgive and forget and decide to move on.
6. Believe in the power of prayer
Prayer allows us to unburden ourselves to a higher power and opens the window of healing of the soul. Our hurt feelings seem banal and small when we open our hearts to the magnanimity of the universe.
Conclusion – Forgive and Forget
Here is one line that sums it up:
A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain. ~ Samuel Johnson (Tweet this)
Mahatma Gandhiji once said “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” It takes a strong person to face pain head-on, forgive and forget, and release it.