Dealing with Difficult People – Practical Tips
Like most of us, you may also have had to meet someone difficult to deal with or a negative person. Yes! Dealing with difficult people is a challenge. These people have negative feelings, oppose your ideas or simply do not like you.
However, you cannot avoid them all. You can avoid one or two people, but not every such person you meet. You have to accept them as part of your life; personal or professional. I had a colleague in my previous office who (I do not know how) could always find faults with anybody and everybody.
Unfortunately, he was my boss and I had to report him for everything I did. No matter how much effort I put into my job, I couldn’t please him, ever. In fact, he used to find faults and insult me publicly.
All this behavior infuriated me to the core and I could not control it, and lost my temper one day. And . . . as you may suspect . . . I lost my job the next day!
In my next job too there was a finicky colleague with whom I had to deal. But, now, being more mature, I vowed to myself that I will not lose the battle, only for the reason that other person is grumpy! I learned ways of dealing with difficult people.
Tips on Dealing with Difficult People
Below are some tips to handle difficult people.
1. Focus on your own behavior
In this regard, there is one important fact to be learned before anything else. It is you who has to control your behavior with such people.
Any conflict may trigger your emotions and you will react or attack back to defend yourself; a natural instinct. It’s all about controlling your response towards difficult people and their actions/remarks. Focus on your behavior when dealing with difficult people
2. Do not hold a grudge
If you hold grudges against someone who has been difficult to you, it is only you who is being hurt in the whole process.
Reacting to any kind negativity disturbs your inner peace, creating pain in you. Often people who initiate negativity are disturbed or frustrated themselves and they express it externally towards anybody who is in front of them. So why take it personally? Try to forgive the person and forget the incident.
3. Avoid conflicts of ego
If you happen to confront a difficult person, do not let your conflict turn into a battle of egos. Though reacting impulsively can be your natural reaction, it is not right.
You cannot resolve problems in this manner; rather relax and think of a better solution. Avoid ego when dealing with difficult people.
4. Allow things to cool down
Do not answer negativity with negativity as anger feeds anger and things become uncontrollable. Wait it out and let the things cool down. Now restart things with a new perspective. The takeway is, hold off responding back immediately and let things cool down.
Read more at – How to manage anger
5. Ignore provocations
Difficult people often like conflict and like to provoke others to confront them. If someone sends any negative message to you, just ignore it and avoid sending any response; good or bad. It will stop the cycle of negative snowballing and that person’s negative intentions.
6. Stop talking about your conflicts
It is often seen that people just love talking about their conflicts and problems. However, they do not understand that every time they repeat their story to someone who will listen, they are going through the situation again (which they hated). The more you talk about a person you dislike, the more you notice things about him or her. Thus, stop talking about your problems with others..
Conclusion – Dealing with difficult people
These are just a few ways that can help in dealing with difficult people. As time passes and maturity grows in you, you will have a kind of calmness in your inner being and a feeling to shrug off negativity initiated by others.