Be Evasive


My advice: be evasive, in times when one is always asked for an opinion on all things random. And yet, speak up and speak your mind, is what one is told all the time. How possibly then can evasiveness or silence be a virtue?

Is not silence or evasiveness for those who do not have an opinion, those who have nothing to say, or perhaps unwilling to commit? Well, that’s what the general perception is.

Silence is a virtue

I have often heard people very virtuously say, no matter what, I always speak the truth. No matter what? Now, that is not completely a believable comment. Many times an unnecessary truth has an ability to hurt and offend the person concerned.

Truth is often not told with the right intention. In fact, on numerous occasions the particularly truthful nugget of information is shared but then, when the person sharing it realizes how it has the potential to cause harm and hurt to the concerned person, they express regret. This typically happens if one is suffering from pangs of envy or insecurity and hence the need to hurt becomes very great.

Obviously, when we are emotionally close to a person, we try to not hurt them—the human instinct of protectiveness kicks in. Don’t get me wrong, at no point of time am I saying do not be candid, but where candidness is not really required, be evasive.

It sounds very simple, but it is not. Being evasive or quiet, in spite of being tempted to shoot one’s mouth off (if it gets too messy, blame it on the prodder or retract the words, or just say I got carried away), requires a certain level of emotional intelligence and empathy.

As some one has wisely said, it requires great maturity to value silence.

The word truth is relative. What may appear truthful to you may just be a great camouflage. Hence, it is really important to know all the facts and another person’s point of view, especially more so if one is sitting in judgement. If not, be evasive or be quiet.

What is unnecessary truth?

Am I trying to say never speak up? No, I am not saying that at all. That’s the reason I have used the term unnecessary truth. Suppose there is a group of friends and you do not particularly like one, you do not really have to wear your dislike on your sleeve?

We live in a social environment and if your life is not getting disrupted in any way, then this bit of unnecessary truth can be best kept to yourself.

Unnecessary truthful details may also include personal details about a friend or co-worker which need not be divulged to all and sundry, until and unless of course they may cause harm or distress in any way.


So if forced to give an opinion, where it is nothing more than idle chatter, just be evasive. As some one has rightly said, “A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill requires only our silence, which costs us nothing.”

About the Author

Nishi Roy is business writer by profession. What she loves most is being able to delve a little deeper into situations and people and share her understanding through her writing voice

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