Life is like a river that flows and we as humans either go with the flow or try and swim against it. As children it is parents who normally direct life and kids just learn to obey their parents. Only a few kids know their own minds and refuse to budge and these are generally labeled as stubborn. In actuality these are children who can make up their own minds and will not budge. This is what being decisive is, and as adults we would benefit greatly if we can nurture this aspect of our mind.
My mother used to say “ the mind is always wavering, and that I should learn how to control my mind and emotions.” As a young woman I was fearful of many things —what my ma-in-law would say, criticisms by sister-in-law, colleagues at work and so on. Later I realized that fears are unfounded and there are strengths within me that can face the harshest of storms.
It is really about being strong from within. Once you master the art of quelling fears , you become stronger, focused, and self-assured—a confident being.
Learn to be focused
The first step is to gain control, there are many simple methods that can help you bring about calmness and help control a wandering mind. Deep breathing, meditation, centering and so on are proven techniques.
Meditation allows you to gather the thoughts and focus and gain strength to conquer indecisiveness. Try one of the techniques. Also make up your mind that you are deserving of respect and have a right to your own opinions and choices. Don’t let people around you be bullies—be it family and friends.
A colleague, Deepa , at work was very soft natured and cultured. She worked in a team led by an aggressive person who tended to talk down to others , after many months of being pushed around, Deepa decided she needed to either put a stop to the behavior or change her job.
She gathered up courage and shared with the team leader her observations and feelings, and those ten minutes changed everything—today they work together with respect and happiness. So be bold and take the right step to make things better.
Use your instincts to make decisions and stick by your choices. And always have concrete reasons why it’s a yes or no -if questioned or challenged by others explain clearly and with conviction your reasons. Don’t back away , imagine yourself to be the “king of the jungle.” Nurture your self-confidence and belief –in life you can love someone without allowing them to hurt you.
A cousin was mild natured and she loved her children so much that she allowed them to walk all over her. As they grew up the son learned to respect her for what she was a caring person, while the daughter continued to step on her and hurt her feelings.
The hurt within my cousin grew and grew and began to emotionally strangle her—she was close to heart break and developed high blood pressure. One day the doctor who was treating her found out what was causing her ailments and sent her to a counselor.
In group sessions she realized that it was important to set love aside and let the daughter know that she must respect her –she drew a firm line and stopped the daughter from criticizing her and talking to her and today my cousin is a happy cheerful person living life to the fullest.
So if someone is being difficult be brave and let them know.
How to become more Decisive – Conclusion
There are many ways to tackle life. There are books that guide you on confidence, therapy groups, meditation classes, and more. To improve and lift your spirits try dance classes, music or theater—enroll for activities outside work and family and make friends of your own. Live a balanced life –happy, healthy , and fulfilled.