Spanking a Child: Should you?

Anger and violence—even if mild—are not avenues for bringing up children. Spanking a child is illegal in at least forty-six countries. Physical punishment according to psychiatrists and child-developmental experts leads to many problems—children begin to believe that aggression and violence are acceptable behavior.

Discipline is Essential, Physical Punishment is a “No”

Inculcating discipline is essential, however spanking a child negates all efforts made. Learn what effective discipline methods are. Verbal or physical punishment, using angry tones or spanking creates hostility in children and builds resentment. Raising a child is all about kindness and love not about who is “ boss.”

Using effective discipline nurtures a child into a kind and responsible adult. It teaches “ right” and “wrong” and inculcates responsibility at an early age.

It is Not About You (Parents)

Many parents and grandparents grew up in an era when spanking was “ the method” of instilling fear and discipline. Today the internet provides large volumes of information on child development and behavior.

Set aside old norms and know that spanking damages the child’s self-esteem and teaches that violence can be used to solve problems.

Parents need to learn how to separate their anger and disappointments in life from child-raising. Many parents allow anger to build up and take out frustrations on a child.

Know “Why Not to” when considering spanking a child

These are just a few reasons and consequences to dwell upon:

Reason 1:

Spanking children teaches them that “hitting” others is “okay.” The child accepts violence as a way of life and does not learn how to solve conflict with love and understanding.

Reason 2:

Spanking a child builds anger and resentment in the child towards the parent—this accumulates and manifests itself when the child grows up.

Reason 3:

Studies indicate that children who are spanked often have warped sexual preferences, as evinced by advertisements for “spanking wanted.”

Reason 4:

Another danger is that of injuring the lower back/spine of the child by spanking—often leading to disabilities and paralysis.

Reason 5:

A child who is spanked grows up believing that “might is right” and that its okay to hurt others. Such children turn into bullies and pick on those who are smaller and weaker.

Use Love and Compassion

The American Academy of Pediatrics promotes bringing up a child in an environment that is safe, loving and supportive. It recommends that parents use positive reinforcement to foster good behavior .

The essentials are: keeping calm; being consistent in tone of voice; spending quality time with the child; respecting the child as an individual; listening to a child; building a bond of love and understanding as well as trust.

The key is to reward good behavior and work towards reducing and eliminating undesirable behavior. Spanking a child does not present a viable solution for any of these points.