6 Ways To Overcoming Envy

overcoming envy

If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang. ~ Charley Reese (Tweet this)

You might have heard people say that envy is not all bad, that it might propel people to do better, to achieve more in order to catch up with those they envy. But the reality is that envy is a very bad motivator. It’s negative; and it can even send people into depression. Overcoming envy should become a crying need for everyone in order to have a happy life.

Consider the fact that envy does not focus on your improvement, it focuses on what you lack. It also festers feelings of resentment towards others—others that are basically innocent. Also, because envy channels your energy onto what you do not have, it will bring down your self-image. It will also take your focus away from what is positive in your life, and leave you with feelings of despair. This makes overcoming envy, job One!

The resentment towards those you envy will make it impossible for you to learn from them about how to achieve the same results, and in many cases it will ruin friendships forever.

The feelings of envy are painful. They come from a mentality of scarcity, where people wrongly believe that if somebody else has what they want then there is not enough to go around. This way of thinking makes the world a bitter place, a place where there is constant competition against everybody else.

An envious person will do harmful things to those they envy in a desperate attempt to alleviate the perceived gap—no matter if those people are good friends or loved family members.  Gossip, for example, is a usual outlet for these negative feelings. The person suffering from envy will try to bring others down instead of working on pulling themselves up, and that is the root of why envy is so toxic.

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. ~ Will Durant (Tweet this)

Practical steps for overcoming envy:

Most people fight the notion that they’re envious. This is only natural; nobody really wants to think of themselves as having an egocentric and selfish streak. But the first step in overcoming envy is to admit it. Then, you’ll be much more open to detect it when its starts to rear its ugly head and you will be able to control it, diminish its harm, and eventually make it disappear from your life completely. Thankfully there are things you can do to help you overcome this toxic habit.

1. Shift the focus from them to YOU

If somebody else has accomplished something you desire you won’t get any closer to it by hating on them. Instead, concentrate on what YOU can do to improve.

Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. ~ H. Jackson Brown Jr. (Tweet this)

2. Avoid others that encourage envious behavior

Those who have gossiping as a pastime are the wrong type for you to hang around. This is true even if you weren’t overcoming envy! Nothing good comes from speaking ill of others. Do not feed into it by participating in their judgmental stories. Also avoid those who put value on what is lacking in a negative way; what is missing from your life is already present as “potential” and you should look towards it with enthusiasm.

3. Seek positive people instead

Surround yourself with good examples of what it is to have a positive outlook in life. There is no real reason for you not to enjoy what you have right now as you work towards better things. In fact, in this manner you will reach your goals faster and you’ll have a better time getting there.

4. Be happy for others!

Realize that when others get what you want it means that it is possible—achievable—and you have the potential to make it happen for yourself as well. Also, if you feel genuinely happy for others your mind will stay open to pick up on what they did and you can learn from their experience.

Envy comes from people’s ignorance of, or lack of belief in, their own gifts. ~ Jean Vanier (Tweet this)

5. Understand that envy brings nothing good to your life

Envy can drive you to do harm to others, but what it first does without fail is to harm yourself. It has no positive value in your life and therefore overcoming envy will make you happier individual.

6. Own it!

Stop making excuses about how it’s unfair that so-and-so got that promotion, or how you are not gossiping but just talking about somebody you are “concerned” about. Envy is all in your head, you create it, you perpetuate it, and it is only up to YOU to get rid of it.

Final Thoughts

Overcoming envy will help you better your life. So monitor your thoughts, and remember that there is nothing constructive on tearing others down. Envy will distract you from all the good things that come into your life and you will miss wonderful opportunities while you are concerned with somebody else’s business.

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About the Author

Yaiza is a published author with a background in psychology and behavior. She has been an ecological educator for Zoos and aquariums, and has been and continues to be involved in several charitable projects and organizations. Her goal is to be active on building a better life for the present and a better world for generations to come.

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