Can Rain Checks in Life become Realities?

Most working parents spend a life time with the rain checks in life; even I have. Often when an opportunity comes parents tend to weigh priorities and put needs of children before their own and thus as the years pass the baskets of “rain checks in life” overflow.

My husband and I too had many dreams. We always promised ourselves that we would go on trips more often once we were retired; funny, but a year has passed and we have not been anywhere yet.

My MA class went to China and it was a trip that would have made many dreams come true for me but when I thought of the expenditure involved I decided arm-chair travelling was just right for me.

It’s not just my experiences. I realized that many parents the world over tend to set aside personal needs to fulfill things for their children.

Try to attain a balance

Ideally parents need to strive for a balance where they do things well for the kids but also do things for themselves. In these days of consumer fever, children have wants that are endless.

A friend has a daughter who asks for a new mobile every time a new one is launched. My friend felt that if the old one worked quite well a new one was not essential. After a few tantrums she struck a deal with her daughter, if the girl saved up fifty-percent of the cost of the mobile my friend promised to give the other half.

This transformed the girl. She started to walk instead of riding the bus or rickshaw just to save money. Collecting the amount took nearly a year and in that time the girl learned that money was not an easy commodity; in fact she decided not to buy the mobile.

Often it’s the need to be in style that creates pressures.

Parents must inculcate a sense of responsibility in children from an young age. Children must understand that parents are not ATMs and that they really struggle to provide the “best” for the family often letting go many personal desires.

It’s important for parents to lead a holistic life, balance needs and even—when possible—indulge in desires.

Often too many rain checks in life lead to unhappiness stemming from lost opportunities especially when children grow up and then lead lives of their own without as much as a glance as to whether their parents need anything.

Life should be rooted in realities

Many experts recommend that children be involved in household budgeting and expenditure. This exercise helps children understand that money is limited and not a bottomless pit.

If teenagers begin to shoulder responsibilities this will ensure they are rooted in realities of life and with a good sense of budgeting they will not demand things like mobiles that are simply style icons.

Most parents desist from saying “No.” This is what spoils children. If there is a demand for something unaffordable, sit down with them and explain why you said “No.” Don’t try and collect money from savings and travel budgets to fulfill frivolous needs.

Just recently a PTA had a huge controversy on whether elementary school children required iPads. When schools make irrational demands it puts a strain on parents. While technology in education is wonderful if must not burden parents. Strike a balance, enjoy life for yourself and raise kids to have good values. With luck and a little effort, you can avoid many of the rain checks in life.