3 Steps To Building Habits That Stick

Habits that stick

You’re well and truly into the new year. How does it feel? Not much different to last year really, is it? You’re back into the old grind and everything is pretty much as normal as it can be. Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask you – how’s that new years resolution going? This is the time where you do that big, deep inhale and start the next sentence with, “Well…” isn’t it? It’s okay. I don’t know anybody else who’s managed to keep theirs either. It’s just become a part of your life: start a resolution and not keep it going past that fateful Monday morning.

But why is it so hard to build habits that stick? Why can’t you just…:

  • Lose weight
  • Go to the gym
  • Stop smoking
  • Read more
  • Meditate
  • Stop eating out …at the drop of the hat, in the same way you managed to pick up it’s bad habit counterpart?

Usually, it’s because you have tried to completely change your life overnight. Which is a bad strategy for anything at all. You know there is no such thing as an overnight success after all. Mostly it’s because you don’t actually understand what it takes to form habits that stick. What steps you can put in place to ensure you don’t fail (and to show what you did wrong, even if you do)?

But that’s about to change. Courtesy of a simple, three step method outlined by Behavioural Psychologist B.J Fogg. His self-titled method, The Fogg Method, shows you to form habits that last. Whether you’re trying to lose 50 pounds, quit a nasty habit or stop looking at your phone as often, this article has got you covered.

Of course, I’m due no credit for the creation of this model. I’ve just laid it out in a way for you to read and apply it right away. But, if you want to see all the information from the man himself too, you can watch a video from him here.

Before You Begin

Have an idea of a habit you want to change. If you don’t have one, it might be best to take another look at that New Years Resolution you were definitely going to achieve this year. Once you’ve got a habit or behaviour you want to change, feel free to move onto Step One.

Step 1: Create A Trigger

This is something that starts your behavior. For example, when you hear the kettle has finished boiling, you go and make a drink. Or when the phone rings and you answer it.The trigger begins the process. The trigger isn’t always something obvious either. Sitting down on the couch after work, turning on the TV and reaching for a beer is still a triggered behavior.

In order to form – or remove – your habit, you either need to add a trigger or remove one. (It’s not always easy to remove a trigger, but you’ll learn more on that in Step Two).

If you were looking to read more, for example, you could:

  1. Set an alarm on your phone to remind you
  2. Put the book you want to read on your pillow
  3. Put the book on top of the TV remote

All of these create a trigger, which you know is to start reading your book.There are some habits, like ‘Looking at Social Media Less’, that it’s easy to remove the trigger from: you simply turn your phone off. But for other, deeper habits, it’s a little harder.

So if you want to create a habit, think of different ways to trigger yourself to take action on those habits. You’ll see how to follow up on it in the next step. If you want to remove one, try and think of ways to remove the trigger. If you can’t, don’t fret, you’re going to be able to fix that right now.

Step 2: Change Your Ability

Your habit is rested on whether you can, or cannot, follow through on it.

  • You can’t buy a pizza with no money.
  • You can’t check your e-mails without an Internet connection
  • And you can’t spend money on your credit card if it’s been cut in half.

You’re also more likely to go to the gym. Meditate. Eat healthier and read your book if you always have the ability to do so. I’m going to split this into two sub-section to make it easier, so choose the one you want and work from there.

Adding New Habits

If you want to build a habit, it should always be accessible for you. Sticking with the reading more example, if you always have your book on you, there is nothing stopping you from reading it. Unless you start to create reasons to not read that is.

You can make sure this happens by packing the book into your work bag every single night. Or having a copy of the book you take to work, and one you leave at home. In other words, make sure this is no way that you can’t do it. Make the world transpire to make you able to perform the habit.

Removing Old Habits

If you can’t take away the trigger, you can take away the ability. If you wake up and go downstairs for a big bowl of sugary cereal, you can’t remove the fact you’ve woken up.

But what you can do is one of these:

  • Not buy any cereal
  • Don’t buy any milk
  • Throw away all of your cereal bowls and spoons

That way, you’re not actual able to have that bowl of cereal. It’s time to go and get the Banana or boil up some Eggs instead. The same goes for all bad habits. You can’t smoke without cigarettes or a lighter.

Either Way…

Always plan ahead. Especially at the beginning of the habit formation. The more – or less – able you are to follow through on a new behaviour the more likely it is to stick.

Step 3: Get Motivated

What this stage really comes down to is: do you want to do it?

It doesn’t matter how many boxes of Fruit Loops you throw away, if you truly want a bowl, you’re going to go out and buy some anyway. But, the same goes the other way. If you really do want to go to the gym, then you’re going to get up and go.

In the section, I’m going to come back to our old faithful friend, Tony Robbins. He says in his book, Unleash The Giant Within, that you are always working between two things: “Pain or Pleasure”. You either want to hide from pain, or create more pleasure.

So, in order to achieve great success here, it’s time to start adding some pain or pleasure.

If you want to add some pain to an existing bad habit, look at the negative impact it has on your life. How you spend $4000 a year on cigarettes? How black a smoker’s lungs are? If you want to add some pleasure, get excited whenever you do it well. Read 2 pages of your book? That’s awesome. Give yourself a pat on the back and chocolate bar.

If you associate it with pain you won’t do it. If you associate it with pleasure you will. In order to get really motivated here, it’s time to assign pleasure to a good habit and pain to a bad one – even if it feels amazing to do it.

Conclusion

In order to form habits that stick you need three things:

  1. Trigger: something that starts the behaviour off.
  2. Ability: can you actually follow up on the habit?
  3. Motivation: do you feel enough pain or pleasure to take that action?

The mantra to help you build habits that stick is simple, as mentioned above. Get all three of those down and you’ll never fail at a habit (or new years resolution) again!

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About the Author

James is addicted to being a true English Gentleman. Between moments of chivalry he runs his own Freelance Blogging company. You can hire him here

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